Alternate Universe: Unexpected
Story Title: Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?
Chapter Title:


Wind Beneath My Wings


Time line:

Early morning hours, Sunday, June 28th, 2004 in the Rome!Universe



Joshua "JJ" Harris was born on April 21st, 2004

The twins (Danielle, "Dani" and William, "Billy") were born on February 12th, 2004

Annie turned five on February 14th.

Spike and Buffy have been married five years in February. (seems longer, doesn't it?)

Buffy turned 23 on January 19th.


All the Potentials were endowed with full Slayer power in February 2003.

Buffy and Spike learned of the other dimensions in May, 2003.



Buffy and Spike get the bond back… Rome!Buffy and Rome!Spike are married and have done the claim, as well, but now Angel has 'kidnapped' them, coerced them into helping him bring down evil ... bring down the Black Thorn.  Angel has advised them all to do something they enjoy...Buffy and Spike go to visit Annie, then spend some time with each other, doing something they enjoy ...


Notes: Heartfelt thanks to my "ET" and wonderful Beta, PaganBaby, for her wonderful suggestions, much needed corrections and always appreciated encouragement!! 


Music Referenced:

Wind Beneath My Wings … Bette Midler


This story involves jumping dimensions to the Universe where Angel and his team work for W&H - where Buffy visited before and sent Spike to Rome to be with the Buffy in that dimension. In lieu of calling it the "EvilJoss!" Universe, which is what I normally call it in my own mind, I'm calling it the "Rome!" Universe. 

Where characters cross over (where the same character from both universes are in the story), I will differentiate the ones from the Rome Universe by calling them Rome!Spike or Rome!Buffy, for example.  If, however, only one of the characters is present, then I won't make that distinction.



Rating / Warnings:

NC17. Content is only suitable for mature adults. Contains explicit language, sex, adult themes and other adult situations that some people may find objectionable. If you are under the age of 17 or find any of these themes objectionable – GO AWAY. Parents, it is up to YOU to control what your children are reading.


Early morning hours, Sunday, June 28th, 2004, in the Rome!Universe:


Buffy and Spike spent a long time with Annie in the dreamy chocolate playground. They played on the swings, Spike pushed Annie and Buffy higher and higher on them until they actually made the full circle around the top bar with shrieks of joy and laughter; they caught marshmallow fish with their hands out of the fountain and borrowed some Kit-Kat rafts from the animal crackers and had a race across the lake and back – Spike let Annie win.


When a candied orange slice began to rise in the sky, peeking up over the hills in the background, it turned the fluffy clouds that dotted the sky shades of pink and green and all Spike could see were Buffy’s eyes in them. Those eyes that he wanted nothing more than to dive into and drown in … eyes that he wanted nothing more than to see every morning when he woke up and every night before he fell asleep.


As the orange-slice sun rose further, the sky turned the most beautiful shade of blue … the blue of his daughter’s eyes, and Spike realized that he’d likely never see those eyes bright with new love … never see them glisten with emotion as she took her vows to love a man forever … never see the joy in them as she held her own babies.  He knew what he was about to do was the only option … running away with Buffy was so tempting, but Angel would track them down, he had no illusions about that – one way or another doing that would only put Buffy and his family in greater danger. 


He was sure he could convince Angel that letting Buffy go was only fair. Somewhere in that bulky, broody vampire there had to be a small piece that still loved Buffy and wouldn’t want any harm to come to her … Spike just had to find it and use that to convince the wanker that letting her leave, and not trying to track her down, was the right thing to do.


Spike and Buffy, with Annie nestled between them, sat on a bench made of Mounds bars and watched the candied sun rise over the hills and the lake.  It felt warm against Spike’s skin, but luckily didn’t seem to be melting any of the chocolate in the playground. 


“Anne Joyce Summers-Weckerly,” Spike said quietly and Annie looked up at him with wide eyes.  Her mother never used her full name unless Annie had done something wrong … and her father never used it … ever.


“You know,” he told her, “that’s a fine name.  Your grandmums … both of them … are looking down on you now and thinkin’ how proud they are that you have their names.


“Anne was a beautiful woman … she was kind and loving and strong … you woulda liked ‘er.  She made the best biscuits…. uhhh, cookies – had them waitin’ for me when I got home from school every day … and plum puddin’ at Christmastime …” Spike told his daughter as his mind went back in time. “And Joyce … there’s no finer woman ever walked the earth than Joyce Summers.  She had a way about her that made you want to do your best … she could make you more than you thought you could be – she had a fire, just like your mum, just like you have, Niblett.”


Annie watched Spike’s face as he spoke … his voice had changed … his accent softened as he reminisced, just like it did when he read her stories.  “Wear those names with pride, Anne Joyce … because two beautiful, strong women wore them before you and they’ll always be watching over you, guiding you and making you more than you thought you could be, too.”


Buffy listened to Spike as he talked to his daughter and tears flowed freely down her face as she pictured young William coming home from school and having cookies, just like she’d done when she was young … just like Annie did now.  Spike didn’t talk about his mother much and never mentioned his father other than to say that he’d died when he was young. 


Buffy was glad they’d at least had this time with Annie … time to share things that otherwise might not have gotten shared -  but the reason for the sharing wasn’t far from her mind.  It was even more clear now that Spike thought he wouldn’t make it through the battle, and Buffy’s mind raced around that thought … circling it like a shark circled prey, trying to find a loophole – a way to make it not so.


“Now, you remember your promises, yeah?” Spike asked Annie as he picked her up and sat her in his lap facing him.


Annie nodded solemnly. “You remember yours, too …” Annie told him as her blue eyes met his and seemed to penetrate deep into his soul.


“I do, Niblett … I’ll never forget a promise to you,” Spike told her as he drew her into a hug. “I love you.” 


Buffy slid over and put an arm around her daughter and Spike, leaning against him and holding them both close.


“I love you too,” Annie told him softly and she was suddenly gone – vanished into thin air, leaving just Buffy and Spike on the bench in the chocolate playground – their arms empty.


“Guess she woke up…” Spike said as he pulled Buffy against him and held her tight.


“Yeah …” Buffy agreed. “Guess we should, too …”


“Wake up now,” Spike said, and he was gone. 


Buffy sat on the bench alone, her mind still circling their situation like a shark … moving in and out … trying to see all possible weaknesses … any possible opening – any chance for escape or victory.




Spike woke with a start … Buffy laying half atop him on the couch in the conference room at W&H.  He half hoped that he’d wake up back in their bed at home to find that it had all been a nightmare, but it wasn’t.


Willow and Tara jumped up from where they’d laid down on the carpet to wait for Spike and Buffy to wake up, and they stood over them now.


“Did it work?” Willow asked Spike.


“Yeah … like a charm,” Spike told her groggily and Willow gave him a small smile. She was glad she could give them that time with Annie, at least.


“What’s wrong with Buffy?” Tara asked, looking at her still sleeping form.


“Nuthin was wrong … shoulda been right behind me,” Spike muttered as he shook his wife gently. “Buffy?”


“You won’t be able to wake her … she has to do it,” Willow informed him.


“Probably drinking her fill a’ chocolate syrup and eatin’ M&M flowers and marshmallow fish …” Spike surmised, and Willow and Tara looked at him like he’s lost his mind.


“You sure you’re ok?” Willow asked him, concern furrowing her brow.


“Yeah …” Spike answered her absentmindedly, his attention on his still sleeping wife.  “Buffy … c’mon now, luv … you can’t eat it all,” he whispered into his wife’s ear, but got no response.  After a couple of minutes, when it was clear that she wasn’t waking up, Spike slipped out from under her and stood up. He began pacing back and forth across the floor in front of the couch where she lay, still asleep. 


“What the bloody hell, Red?” Spike asked Willow. “It worked fine for me – why ain’t she waking up?!”


Willow shrugged before saying, “I’ll go ask Willow … umm – you know the other Willow … if she knows.” 


About the time Willow got to the door of the conference room, Buffy woke up with a jerk.


“Bloody hell, Buffy! Are you ok, luv?” Spike asked, kneeling down next to her.


Buffy looked around, trying to get her bearings … then she remembered – it wasn’t just a dream after all. “Yeah …” she replied to Spike in a groggy voice as she sat up. “Fine.”


“Christ, woman … you scared the bejesus outta me!” Spike chastised before taking her into a hug.


“Sorry …” Buffy told him, returning his hug. “Just got … sidetracked.”


Willow cleared her throat behind them and said, “Ok, so we’re gonna go lay down a while … you guys may want to, you know, get some real sleep, too … I have a feeling tonight’s going to be a long night.”


Buffy and Spike released the hug and they both stood up. “Yeah, brilliant … thanks, Red,” Spike told her.




Spike and Buffy found the room that Angel had set up for them within the glamour and stepped inside just as the sun cleared the horizon in the east.  Buffy went into the bathroom and turned on the water in the double walk-in shower and waited for it to warm up as Spike looked out the window at the sunrise.  He knew it would likely be his last … he wanted to feel the sun on his skin one last time, and this was as close to that as he could get, behind the necro-tempered glass of the office building.


Buffy had shed her clothes and walked up behind Spike as he gazed at the sun rising up over the hills and buildings of L.A. and felt the rays of light work their way up his body through the glass.  Buffy ran her hands up under his shirt and Spike raised his arms, allowing her to take it off him. When it was off, Buffy wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her warm body against his back, laying her head against a bare shoulder blade.


Spike closed his eyes as he tried to memorize this feeling … the feeling of his lover’s body warming his back and the rays of the sun on his skin – it was, perhaps, as close to heaven as he’d ever get.  He was pretty sure the bridge keeper would ask him what the Capital of Assyria was … and he'd be catapulted into the Gorge of Eternal Peril, or more likely a Hell dimension, when he didn’t know. Maybe he should get Red to check on that for him, just in case…


After several minutes of standing in silence, Buffy whispered, “Shower’s warm … want to wash my back?”


“Love to …” Spike answered her as he turned in her arms and took her lips in a tender kiss.  Her hands went to his belt and tugged it loose before starting with the top button and zipper.  Spike broke the kiss to tug his shoes off and slide his dress pants down and kick them off.


Buffy took his hand and led him back to the now steamed up bathroom. The water sprayed hard and hot from each end of the double shower, so no matter which way they turned or where they stood, the hot water would pound down on their tired bodies.


Spike squeezed out a generous portion of the Sandalwood and Cinnamon soap from the bottle and lathered it into suds in his hands.  He turned Buffy to face the wall and the water sprayed her front as he started massaging the soap into her skin, beginning with her neck and shoulders, where all the tension of the last twenty-four hours was most evident. 


Spike ran his fingers along the sides of her spine from the base of her skull down to her shoulders, squeezing and massaging with strong hands all along those tight muscles, as Buffy moaned and dropped her head down. She closed her eyes and just let his fingers and hands take her stress and worry and cast them aside for the time being. For now, there was nothing but his strong hands on her skin … there was no apocalypse, there was no Angel, there was no Black Thorn – there was just Spike and Buffy – nothing else existed, nothing else mattered.


Spike ran his hands further down her back, massaging the hard muscles along her spine then rubbing small circles over her skin with the fragrant soap. 


“So beautiful you are, Buffy,” Spike whispered to her as he reached her round butt and ran his hands lightly down the swell of her hips and back up the curve of her ass, trailing soapy bubbles in their path.


Buffy turned around to face him and Spike stopped breathing, stopped moving … stopped thinking about anything but his wife, his lover, his best friend … his soul mate.  Nothing else mattered; nothing else existed outside this small room – nothing but his love for her and her love for him.


Buffy squeezed out some of the soap into her hands and began to lather it on Spike’s shoulders and down his arms … when she reached his left hand, she pulled it up to her lips and kissed the wedding band he had there – the wedding band that she’d slid onto his finger what seemed like a lifetime ago … the one that he never took off, not even when she died. 


Buffy let go of his hand and started back at his shoulders, this time trailing the suds down his hard chest … she never could get over how soft his skin was … always in such contrast to the hard muscles it covered. 


Spike watched her, mesmerized, as she trailed her hands further down his body, to his six pack abs, where she outlined each one with the tip of a finger before moving down further still to his slim hips.  Buffy trailed the tips of her fingers and the suds lightly down from his hip bones, following the ‘V’ that formed below his abs, to his pubic bone and now hard cock. 


The hot water pounded down on both of their backs as they stood in the center of the shower facing each other. Buffy trailed her soapy fingertips up and down the length of his hard rod … pausing at the tip to circle it lightly before starting back down with feather touches, causing Spike to moan and drop his head back. 


Buffy pressed her body against his, wrapping her arms around his neck and Spike brought his head back up to look into her eyes. His wet hair fell in soft curls around his face as their eyes met and they held each other captive, green locked on blue.  


“Make love to me, William,” Buffy whispered to him before pulling herself up on her toes and sucking his lower lip into her mouth softly.  Spike wrapped his arms around her and pulled her body harder against his, lifting her feet up off the floor as he returned her kiss, keeping it slow and tender, as he slipped his tongue into her mouth, tasting her … exploring her mouth like it was their first time; memorizing the taste, the feel, the warmth of her like it was their last time.


Spike kept a tight hold on Buffy and stepped back under the hard spray of the shower behind him, taking her with him, so it covered their bodies and rinsed all the soap off, before reaching behind him and turning the water off. 


Spike bent down, scooped Buffy up into his arms, and carried her out of the shower and bathroom and to the freshly made bed in the room and set her down gently on the edge of it.  Spike knelt on the floor in front of her, sat back on his heels and ran his hands up from her calves, past her knees to her thighs and back down again.


Buffy’s hands rested lightly his shoulders as she watched his eyes move over her wet, golden skin, following the movement of his hands.  She never tired of seeing that look in his eyes … it was a look of awe, of wonder … of love … and so much more.  It made her feel beautiful, desirable, wanted – it made her love him even more.


“So beautiful you are, pet,” Spike said in a voice deep with love and desire.  “From your Passion-Apple Red toenails to your green eyes …” he continued.


“Apple Passion,” Buffy corrected him with a small smile.


“What’s that?” Spike asked, looking up from her legs to her eyes.


“Apple Passion, not Passion-Apple,” she said again, her smile growing.  “You’d think you could remember that, since you wore it for two weeks after Annie and I painted your nails that time …”


“Right you are, luv … Apple Passion – I remember now.  Got me into three fights at Willy’s, that did,” he told her, his eyes dancing with the memory as a small smile tugged on the corners of his mouth.


“Why did you keep it on so long? … Annie offered to take it off or paint over it with black …” Buffy asked, tilting her head and looking into his eyes – her hands still resting on his shoulders.


“Because … m’ girls gave it to me … I knew … I knew with certainty at that moment – you were back.  I missed you so much … not just those hundred and forty-seven days but after, when you were here with me, but not really … I think I missed you even more then,” Spike told her with a sad smile.  “You started living again on New Year’s Eve…but when you laughed that day … then I knew, I knew I had all of you back.”


“That girl I love … the silly girl who dances in the kitchen and sings in the shower when she doesn’t think anyone can hear – except she forgets she’s married to a vampire, and jumps on the bed with her daughter like it’s a bloody trampoline … that girl was back that day.”


“You can hear me in the shower!?” Buffy exclaimed, her eyes going wide as she pulled her hands back from his shoulders and covered her mouth with them.


Spike laughed and came up off his heels, but stayed on his knees in front of her. He leaned into her, his body pressing between her thighs, as he pulled her hands away from her mouth and held them in his. Spike leaned his mouth in close to her ear and sang softly to her, repeating what he’d heard her sing in the shower.


It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.”


“OH. MY. GOD!” Buffy exclaimed, falling backwards onto the bed and pulling her hands away from Spike to cover her face. “I’m so embarrassed!”


Spike laughed … she was so cute when she’d been caught doing something soooo “un-Buffy”.  Spike grabbed her wrists, her hands staying plastered on her face, and pulled her back up to sitting.  He tilted his head to the side and drank her in.  Her neck and what part of her face he could see, was tinged in pink from embarrassment and she shook her head slowly in disbelief, her still wet hair leaving droplets of water on her tan shoulders as it moved.


Spike pulled harder on her wrists and she let her hands drop away from her face. “Hello, cutie,” he whispered to her when her eyes met his; he leaned in to take her lips in a soft kiss and she leaned down to meet him. His lips just barely touched hers as he trailed his tongue along her bottom lip – he loved that pouty lip – and it was definitely pouty now.


Spike wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss, his tongue delving into the depths of her hot mouth and swirled around her tongue in a slow, sensuous dance.  Buffy wrapped her arms around Spike’s neck and responded to his kiss – she wanted to remember this, too. She wanted to make sure she memorized everything about him, from how his soft lips felt on hers to how his heavenly devil-tongue swirled around her mouth, to how he tasted and how he smelled and even how he breathed, even though he didn’t have to.


Buffy pulled back to breathe and rested her forehead on Spike’s, her arms still around his neck. “You are my hero, Spike … you really are the wind beneath my wings,” she whispered to him, before adding, “… even though you do eavesdrop on people in the shower.”


Spike smiled and pulled back to look into her eyes. “I love you, Buffy Anne Summers – don’t you ever forget. 


“I love you when you paint m' nails blood red while I’m asleep; I love it when you break your own house rules and steal brownies off the counter; I love it when you sing sappy songs in the shower. I love the Slayer, I love the woman, I love the girl – don’t ever change – you’re perfect just the way you are, luv.”


Tears welled in Buffy’s eyes … how was she going to do this without him? God, please … I know I ask for a lot … but please, please don’t take him away from me, she prayed silently as Spike kissed her tears away.  Spike dropped soft kisses all over her face, moving slowly, tenderly as his hands caressed the wet skin of her shoulders and upper arms with feather touches, sending chill bumps over her entire body. 


Buffy twirled her fingers in his wet curls as Spike slid his mouth down her neck, kissing and licking and flicking his tongue over her skin before finding that spot behind her ear that made her crazy, and teasing it with light swirls of his tongue.  Buffy moaned and tilted her head to the side, letting her hair fall away from her neck as he continued to tease her skin. 


Spike could feel her respond to his touches and he drank it in…every moan, every shudder, every quiver, and every chill bump made him want her more. Spike slid his tongue down her neck, past her collarbone, as he cupped her breasts lightly in his hands. When his tongue reached the first hard nipple, Buffy’s body jerked as electricity shot out to every nerve ending in her body.


Spike circled the darker skin of her areola with his tongue before sucking her nipple into his mouth and teasing the hard nub with the tip of his tongue, causing Buffy to moan his name and arch her back – pressing her body harder against his mouth. Spike teased the other nipple with his fingers, circling it lightly before rolling it softly between his thumb and forefinger.


“Oh God!” Buffy cried as he increased the pressure of his mouth and fingers on her sensitive breasts.  Her pussy ached for him … tingled and throbbed in anticipation, as he made love to her breasts with his mouth and hands until she thought she couldn’t stand not having him inside her for one more second.


Spike could feel her desire building higher as he lavished his attentions on her beautiful breasts. He could hear her heartbeat quicken as her blood pulsed powerfully through her veins; he could hear her breaths become shallow and ragged; he could smell her arousal, her juices flowing from her sweet quim and he just had to have a taste of that ambrosia one more time.


Spike trailed his hands down Buffy’s sides, past her hips to her thighs and down to her knees. Pulling away from her breast, he lifted her legs up and Buffy fell back onto the bed as he pressed her knees up towards her chest and spread them wide to reveal her sweet pussy to him. 


“God Buffy … you have no idea what you do to me …” he whispered to her as he dipped his head down and pressed his tongue between her folds to taste her.  They both moaned deeply as Spike’s tongue slid up her slit, tasting and teasing her … bringing her to the edge of heaven. 


Buffy held her legs open for him and Spike moved his hands down to join his tongue at her decadent table … Annie may dream of chocolate … but this is what Spike’s dreams were made of.  Spike opened her pussylips wide to reveal her throbbing hole and hard clit to him.  He teased her clit lightly with just the tip of his tongue as he slid one finger in her dripping channel.


“Oh God!” Buffy screamed as her hips bucked up against him – begging for more. Spike moved his finger slowly in and out of her as his tongue circled her clit and flicked lightly over the top of it.  Buffy’s legs quivered and trembled … if she’d been standing, her knees would’ve buckled.


“Open the bond, luv …” Spike instructed her, his voice deep with desire. “Let me feel what you feel.”


Buffy concentrated on opening the bond … it wasn’t easy – her brain wasn’t working very well at that moment, but then she felt him – she could feel his love and his desire – it flooded into her mind and seemed to fill her whole body with warmth and light and passion – it was like she could feel his soul.


Spike gasped as he felt the bond open … he could feel her fear of losing him … her shattered dreams for their future, but also her love, her devotion to him and to their family, and below that he could feel her desire. 


He knew how much he always desired her …how much he loved making love to her, being one with her, taking her to heaven – but he never knew with such certainty that her desire matched his perfectly. He loved her passion, but he never realized just how intense her passion was, and feeling that now filled him with even more love and desire for her, if that was possible.


Spike licked his tongue hard across her clit and Buffy screamed out, her body bucking under him, as she took another step towards that cliff that fell into heaven. Spike pressed another finger into her tight hole and began moving in and out at a faster pace as he sucked her burning nub into his mouth and ravished it with his teeth and lips.


“Oh God … Spike! Yes!! Yes!  God, baby … harder! More!” Buffy demanded of him and he could feel her starting to fall. He slid another finger into her and began to slam his hand against her harder and harder as he sucked and licked and nibbled on her clit with a fervor fueled not only by his desire to take her to heaven, but by her own desire to go there.


“YESSSS! God yes … fuck Spike … Arrghhhhhhhhhhh … Yesssss!” Buffy screamed as she came. Her body bucked and spasmed under his touch and Spike felt like he was falling into heaven with her … floating for those moments in the clouds, as her orgasm rolled out in wave after wave of pleasure from her core to encompass her whole mind and body in total bliss.


Spike had to pull back mentally to keep from cumming himself as he felt her climax through their bond.  When he felt her floating back down to earth, Spike slowed his fingers and pulled out of her. Now dripping with her cum, he slid a finger down to her puckered hole and teased the sensitive skin around it before pressing lightly against her. 


Buffy gasped when his finger slid into her tight ass and raised her hips up higher to give him easier access to her body.  She loved what he did to her … how he could take her to heaven every time – he always seemed to know what she wanted, what she needed … what would take her there, even without the bond.


Spike dropped his mouth to her dripping cunt and sucked and licked the cum that flowed out of her with the hunger a condemned man has for his last meal.   He started fucking her ass slowly with his finger, causing Buffy to moan and writhe against him as the new sensation started the cascade of ecstasy all over again. 


Spike began fucking her slit with his tongue as his finger fucked her ass and he could feel her starting to soar back into the clouds. Cum for me, Buffy … I love your cum … so bloody hot … so sweet you are, pet … Cum, Buffy … cum for me, his mind begged her through their bond, and Buffy’s body obliged him. 


She felt like she’d no sooner touched back to earth than Spike was taking her back into the clouds … back to heaven. Chill bumps raced across her skin … emanating from where Spike’s mouth and hands were touching her and washing over her like soft waves on the sand.


Her skin tingled as the waves began to creep further and further up her body, until her whole being seemed to quiver and tremble. Then the waves were crashing down on her harder and harder – engulfing her again, and lifting her past the clouds and up to fly amongst the stars in heaven. 


Buffy screamed as her orgasm overtook her … she couldn’t think, she could only feel – feel the waves of ecstasy washing over her … feel the stars as they flew by at warp speed – they seemed to burn her skin as they passed – but it felt sooo good.


Spike’s tongue delved into her hot, wet hole … harder and faster, and his finger in her ass matched it.  He could feel her flying higher and higher until there was no coherent thought remaining … no worry, no fear, no sadness, no shattered dreams … just bliss – just the moon and the stars and the heavens surrounding them.  Only them – only they mattered … only they existed in the universe at that moment.


Her feelings of utter joy overwhelmed Spike … maybe opening the bond wasn’t such a brilliant idea, he thought as he pulled his finger and mouth away from her, stood up and pressed his hips down against her, sliding his cock into her burning hole as she continued to cum under him.


“FUCK! Buffy! So fucking tight… so wet for me … Ahhhh, God, Buffy!” Spike exclaimed as the head of his cock entered her. Her channel squeezed him tighter than he thought possible as she writhed and screamed in rapture.  Buffy wrapped her legs around his waist, digging her heels into his ass, and pulled hard … slamming his rod into her in one forceful stroke.


Buffy screamed even louder when she felt his cock buried to the hilt in her burning womanhood… the head kissing her womb, his balls against her ass. “Fuck me!” she demanded of Spike and he began moving, his hips and balls slapping against her harder and harder as he drove his cock into her with the force no mortal man could ever match. And still she demanded, “harder, faster!” from him as she put her hands below her heels on his thighs and pulled him deeper and deeper into her with harder and harder strokes.


“Fuck! Slayer! God … Buffy … Jesus fucking Christ!” Spike yelled as he grabbed her hips and slammed violently into her. He could feel her passion … her need to be one with him … her unbridled lust and desire for him and he felt the same. He loved being inside her, enveloped in her heat, her sugar walls hugging his cock tighter and tighter as she rose higher and higher into the stratosphere. 


This isn’t how Spike had envisioned this night … soft, tender lovemaking was how he’d seen it in his mind’s eye. He’d intended to go slow, to savor every moment, every touch, every breath … but this is what they were at their cores – both of them: warriors.


Whether on the field of battle or in the bedroom, they were always warriors deep down, and their passion for each other brought that primal self out into the open.


They could be that with each other, there was no one else they could really be themselves around with no reservations – warrior lovers – primal beings – demons. One dark, the other light … yin and yang … but both demons at their core – and neither had to hide their true nature from the other … they both understood the other perfectly.


“Bite me …Spike! Now! Now! NOW!” Buffy screamed at him, moving her hands up to his shoulders and pulling him down atop her as she raised her head and neck up to him, turning her head to the side to give him free access to her neck.  Spike couldn’t have stopped if he wanted to … her demands for him to drink from her were beyond his power to defy.


The demon rose as Spike’s face reached Buffy’s neck and he sank his fangs into her without preamble … no kissing, no licking … the primal need to have her blood overwhelmed him. 


“YESSSSS!!!” Buffy screamed as his fangs entered her and her Slayer blood flowed into Spike’s mouth and across his tongue.  He knew how it made him feel to have her blood flowing into him, but now he felt her orgasm explode through her entire body, engulfing not only her, but him, as well, with its power and brilliance. 


Buffy could feel Spike’s passion, his primal need for her blood, for her body, through their bond, and when her blood hit his tongue the feeling was beyond description.


It was what a person lost in the desert must feel when they find an oasis. They run towards it – through the scorching sun and heat, across the dry sand, their mouth and lips cracked and their skin burnt. They dive into the cool, clear water … drinking deeply of the sweet, wet, life-giving liquid – feeling it cool their burning skin, feeling it flow down their throat and give them hope, give them life, where a moment before there was no hope, no life.


Spike slammed his hips into her harder and faster and he felt her pull him with her as they hurtled up past the clouds, past the moon, past the stars and straight towards the sun.  Spike couldn’t hold back any longer, and his cum filled her channel as her blood filled his mouth. Their bodies felt like they were on fire as the flames of the sun licked at their skin – flaring and waning and then flaring back again as they flew closer and closer to its burning center.


Buffy’s scream of ultimate bliss and ecstasy filled the room, and possibly the entire Wolfram & Hart building, as she clung to Spike - her nails drawing blood on his back and her heels bruising his ass cheeks, as she climaxed.  Spike pulled off her neck as his own orgasm flooded him with that same bliss. His head jerked back as he howled at the ceiling – his roar joining her screams, vibrating the walls and windows of the small room and engulfing them both in rapture.


As they descended back to earth from their trip past the dark side of the moon and around the sun, Spike pushed Buffy back further on the bed and collapsed down with her, half on her and half on the bed beside her. She tried to breathe in enough oxygen to allow her brain to function again as Spike leaned across her and licked and nuzzled the wound on her neck to stop the bleeding and seal it.


When he pulled back, Buffy pulled his head down and kissed him, she could taste her blood in his mouth, on his lips, but now it tasted differently to her than it had before … now it tasted like that sweet, clean water in the desert oasis. She understood what it tasted like to him – what it truly meant to him to have her offer it to him.   “I love you,” she mumbled against his lips. “Do you know how much?”


“I love you, Buffy … just as much,” Spike whispered back to her. “Which is why you need to go soon … before anyone gets here – you need to go, get away – take care of our family.”


“Can you just hold me … just a little while more?” she asked him and he rolled onto his back and pulled her against him. Her leg and arm across his body and her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly to him. 


"I would hold you forever, if I could..." Spike told her.  “Don’t forget your promise …” he begged as he dropped a kiss on the top of her head.


“I haven’t,” she whispered back, snuggling closer to his side.


Buffy lay still, memorizing the feeling of being in his arms … memorizing his body, his scent … everything about him … until she felt him relax next to her.  When she looked up, his eyes were closed … he had fallen into an exhausted sleep.


Tears stung her eyes as she slid down out of his embrace, careful not to wake him.  She found some clothes on a chair near the bed – jeans, t-shirt, socks and boots…Angel had, apparently, thought of everything, including the fact that they wouldn’t be able to fight effectively in the dress clothes they’d worn to the wedding.


She pulled on the clothes and shoes and fished Spike’s wallet out of the pocket of his discarded dress pants. She opened it and ran a finger across his driver’s license. Buffy smiled sadly at the birth date it showed … he was thirty-three years old now according to that. Buffy sighed heavily and took some cash out of the wallet and stuffed it down into her pocket – traveling money. Then she laid his wallet on top of the other pile of clothes in the room – black jeans, black t-shirt … even a black leather duster … yeah, Angel had thought of everything.


Buffy stood for a long time and looked at Spike as he slept. Tears of frustration and fear ran down her face as the battle within her raged … stay or go … she promised him she would go … she wanted to stay – to fight, to be with him come hell or high water. 


Buffy dropped to her knees, laying her forehead on the edge of the bed, she closed her eyes and prayed silently. Please, please, please … I know Angel’s your pet project … but Spike’s a Champion … can’t you see?  You have the power to keep him safe, protect him from harm … please don’t take him away from me … away from us.  You’ve helped us before … please help us now …


Mom! Mom, can you hear me!??  Please, if you can hear me, tell them! Tell them about Spike! Mom, I need him … you know! Our family needs him … Mommy, please, please tell them …


Buffy fought back her tears, fought back her fear and pushed her worry away as she stood up next to the bed and her sleeping husband. She watched him as he lay still and unmoving in the bed for another long while, until finally, she bent down and dropped a soft kiss on his lips.


“Please don’t be a hero…please don’t be you,” she whispered to him before she turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her softly, as tears flowed down her face. 


“Please forgive me…” Buffy whispered as she leaned her back against the closed door, guilt weighing  heavily on her heart.







Wind Beneath My Wings … Bette Midler


Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.



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