Alternate Universe: Unexpected
Story Title: Miles To Go Before I Sleep

Chapter Title:


I Knew I Loved You

Chapter Summary:


Cordy’s done waiting for the Sunnydale group to find her husband. The Scoobies are at a dead-end, unable to re-open the portal or determine, with certainty, exactly where Buffy, Spike, Bess, and Angel are.  Buffy’s ass-deep in alligators. Can she find a way to drain the swamp?


Time line:

May 2011


Click here to view history timeline and key dates.



Music Referenced:  I Knew I Loved You, Savage Garden


Some Screencaps courtesy of Broken Innocence (others from ScreenCap Paradise which is, sadly, no more). and also from

Thanks: I may not say it enough, but thanks to YOU for reading! Without you none of this would mean anything! Giant thanks also to Anona for betaing this chapter, including her grammatical and punctuation corrections, wonderful commentary, and final review. Also thanks to Capella42 for her insightful suggestions that made the whole story better. All mistakes are mine because I simply cannot stop fiddling right up to the last moment.
Rating / Warnings:

NC17. Content is only suitable for mature adults. Contains explicit language, sex, adult themes, and other adult situations that some people may find objectionable. If you are under the age of 17 or find any of these themes objectionable – GO AWAY.


Monday, May 9th, 2011, Unexpected Universe:


A forlorn Scooby gang sat around the research table at the mansion, staring at each other. Not even Krispy Kreme donuts could lift their spirits or fuel new ideas in their brains. Finally, Xander began again, repeating the same thing that had been said perhaps a hundred times, trying to find something new in the theory – some clue they had missed.


“This Warren guy comes through the portal from the other dimension behind Buffy and Annie. He somehow kidnaps Buffy and builds an extremely expensive Buffy-clone to try and fool us. When he figures out the jig is up, he hightails it out of town. The Buffy-bot has no idea where he is or how to reach him. Even Willow can’t mojo anything off the Bot’s hard drive, or out of her memory, other than his picture and that he has ‘a very impressive penis’ and, maybe it’s just me, but I’m thinking that’s probably not even true.”


Everyone nodded slowly, solemnly.


“Thanks to Willow’s very scary, and apparently long, memory and knack for minutiae,” Xander continued, “we know Warren’s last name is ‘Mears’. Since Wills looked him up before, when Buffy and Spike told us about him about …oh … eight years ago, we know that the real Warren, the one from our world, is in jail for killing his girlfriend. Thanks again to Willow’s mad hacker skills, we now know he’s had no visitors in the last five years. So talking to him to try and find his equally-evil twin wouldn’t really do any good.”


Everyone again nodded their agreement with that assessment.  


“The new and improved Warren either dropped Buffy back through the portal to the other dimension or he has her cloaked, so locator spells don’t work. And, we can’t experience the fun and giddy excitement of being chased by giant bats and large, red-eyed vampires while looking for Buffy because someone closed the portal … permanently.”


Everyone nodded again.


Xander sighed. “Why?”


Everyone put on their ‘thinky-faces’. It wasn’t the first time they’d tried to figure that out.


“Maybe he’s just evil,” Anya suggested brightly. “Evil is as evil does.”


“What does that even mean?” Xander wondered, looking at his wife.


Anya looked at him like he was stupid. “It means … Evil is as evil does. Don’t you speak English?”


Xander sighed and rolled his eyes. “Ok, he’s evil – why would he kidnap Buffy?”


“So she doesn’t interfere with his evil plans, of course,” Anya offered.


“Ok … if he could kidnap her, then he could kill her, right? Why not just kill her?” Xander pressed.


“Because then he wouldn’t have anyone to have rutting deer sex with, since we have his sex toy,” Anya theorized.


Xander looked horrified. He hadn’t actually thought of that.


“I don’t believe he’s holding her captive,” Giles interjected. “If he had her as a prisoner, why close the portal?  I believe Buffy … along with Spike, Bess, and Angel, are all in that bat dimension.”


“Well, if that’s true, at least they’re all together,” Tara observed.


“Perhaps,” Giles agreed. “The real question is: how do we get them back?” He looked at Willow – their strongest magical vessel.


Willow sighed heavily and shook her head. “The dehydrated Paradoxophyla palmata he used was 100% pure. There wasn’t even any cheap Bufo bufo mixed in like you sell at …”


Giles gave her a stern glare, and she cleared her throat. “Anyway … that direct portal into the bat dimension is gone and I have no idea how to find or make a new one.


“Our best bet would be getting help from some being that can travel between dimensions and knows where different dimensions are located at any given time … like a Vengeance Demon,” Willow suggested looking up from her computer and leveling her gaze on Anya.


“Ex. I’m an ex-Vengeance Demon,” Anya reminded her. “And I’m pretty sure after what Buffy did to D’Hoffryn, neither he, nor any of his girls, are gonna want to help us.”


Giles furrowed his brow. “You believe he … remembers that? None of the rest of us do, and … she changed the outcome by going back in time. Technically, she never killed him,” he pointed out.


Anya shrugged. “He’s not big on technicalities – he’s very black and white, especially when it comes to his enemies and getting killed. I’d lay odds he either remembers or knows someone that does. We should try and find someone else to help us … someone that has established, well-marked conduits between the dimensions.”


“Like … who?” Willow questioned.


“Wolfram & Hart,” a new voice came from the doorway.


Everyone at the table looked up to see Cordelia and Gunn standing just inside the garden doors. It was Cordelia who had spoken.


Giles stood up from his place at the table and started towards the pair from L.A. “I believe enlisting their help should be only done when all other remedies have been exhausted,” he told her.


“Fine,” Cordy sneered. “What other remedies do you have in mind?”


“Well … errrr … that is to say …” Giles stammered. “We’re working on it.”


“Yeah, well – I’m done letting you work on getting my husband back,” Cordy continued, her tone icy. “You people got him into this mess in the first place. If you think I’m just gonna sit around and wait while you sit around with your thumbs up your butts, you would be wrong. Again.”


“I assure you our thumbs are not up our butts,” Giles defended, growing angry. “And we didn’t get Angel into anything: he brought the mission to us, as I recall.”


“Oh, right – blame him because he was generous enough to share the payday with the Council!” Cordy snapped back. “If you people were half-way competent … if Spike hadn’t gotten himself eaten by the damn thing, none of this would’ve happened!”


“I’m very sure that Spike is quite penitent for the inconvenience he has caused Angel by getting eaten,” Giles replied sarcastically.


“Yeah, well,” Cordy shot back. “He shouldn’t be penitent – he should be damn sorry!”


Giles opened his mouth, then closed it again. “Indeed. I believe I know what to tell Buffy to get you for Christmas this year – a dictionary.”


Cordelia snorted. “Oh, pleease! I'd never read a dictionary! Those are for people with way too much time on their hands. 'See Spot Run' has more plot and suspense! And, anyway, I don’t know what that has to do with you people screwing everything up!”


Giles shook his head and sighed.


Wes moved from his place where he’d been sitting at the research table, and laid a hand on Cordy's arm. “Cordelia, I can assure you, we are doing everything in our power to retrieve Angel, Bess, Buffy, and Spike.”


“Yeah, well – you aren’t doing enough,” Cordy contended. “There’s no way in hell I’m leaving my husband in some other dimension, and especially not with Buffy.”


By now, all the Scoobies had come up to meet Cordy and Gunn the center of the great room.


“We aren’t entirely certain where Buffy is,” Giles pointed out.


“Well, it makes sense doesn’t it? She’s gone. He’s gone. They’re gone … together, at the same time,” Cordy contended.


“So,” Xander answered for all of them. “What worries you most about your husband being in a dimension with giant bats and super-strong vampires, is that Buffy is with him?”


Cordy huffed and folded her arms over her chest. “I’m not worried. I just want him back before she can get her grimy little mitts on him.”


“Right,” Xander replied sarcastically. “Because we all know how hard it is for her to keep her mitts off Dead Boy.”


“You do realize that Angel would likely not agree with your plan to go to Wolfram & Hart,” Giles tried, attempting to reason with her. “He did, after all, explore and explore every possible avenue in an effort to cure your illness without resorting to such measures.”


Cordy pursed her lips defiantly. “Yeah, well, I think all our avenues are like last year’s prom dress – dead ends. You should all be grateful that I know people there now … people that can actually do something.”


“What does that mean, anyway? Last year’s prom dress is a … dead end?” Willow piped up. “That doesn’t even make sense.”


“Of course you wouldn’t get it,” Cordy scoffed, looking Willow up and down disdainfully, but the fashionista never did explain the comment further.


“You can either come with us or not,” Cordy continued. “I don’t care – but I thought I’d give you the chance to save your … friends.” Cordy sneered the last word. “I have a meeting with Lilah tomorrow morning at ten – be there or not. One way or the other, I’m getting Angel back. I will not let that bitch keep him away from me again.”


With that, she turned on her heel and marched out of the garden doors with Gunn trailing behind her.


“Queen C lives,” Xander moaned, rolling his eyes.


Giles sighed heavily and rubbed at his tired eyes. They needed to figure something out before Cordelia opened Pandora’s box and got in even deeper with Wolfram & Hart.



 (Later that Night) Monday, May 9th, 2011, Gift-less Universe:


Buffy watched William sleeping in her arms. He muttered incomprehensible words as he dreamt, and at times his arms or legs would jerk. He kicked her more than once, but she wouldn’t release her hold on him. She shushed him softly and caressed his fuzzy hair and face, trying to comfort him. She wished she could fall asleep and join him in his dreams where she could perhaps actually do something useful to help him with whatever monster he was facing there, but despite her exhaustion, sleep was elusive.


To be honest, she was a little afraid that the monster in his dreams was her.  The look he’d had earlier after he’d overheard her telling Spike that she had married a warrior haunted Buffy.  She was sure he never did fully understand what she was trying to tell him, so lost was he in the persona of William.  Just one more thing for her to feel shitty about – later.


Right now what she was most concerned about was rescuing Bess and getting them all home. With Andrew’s help, she’d figured out that she had actually been here about three or four days! Days! Where the hell was everyone? Why hadn’t anyone come looking for her? Surely they must’ve figured out where she was by now.  Even if they didn’t know where she was, they must suspect this was where Spike and Bess were … and Angel. Buffy tried to not even think about how to explain Angel’s dustiness to Cordy. That made her head hurt – worse. 


Buffy still didn’t know how the three octopus-demon fighters had ended up here, but obviously it had something to do with that damn sea creature that Tara had mojo’d to their dimension.  Maybe killing it mojo’d it back and it pulled the fighters along in its wake. Had it left an open portal somewhere that they could get to? William was of little help with this, but maybe Bess could tell her where they’d come into this dimension from.


But, of course, Bess was a prisoner of the Reds. Buffy had to figure out a way to rescue Bess with just the three … or four, if you count Andrew, of them. Maybe with more holy water. Maybe they could flood the ship with it – except that could dust Bess too. No, it would have to be a surgical strike. She mulled this over for a long time, trying to figure out how to get to Bess and get them all off the Reds’ ship alive.  She found no answers.


On top of all that, she had to figure out a way to get home, because if no one had come by now, they probably weren’t coming. She was pretty sure clicking her heels together three times and saying ‘there’s no place like home’ wasn’t gonna cut it, even if the floor outside was covered in sparkling, ruby slipper dust.


And this was why she couldn’t sleep: too many questions and absolutely no answers.


She sighed and dropped a soft kiss atop William’s fuzzy head. His short stubble of hair tickled her lips and she just had to run a hand over his shorn locks again.  Another mystery – where had his hair gone? For this question, she did have a theory: the acid in the octopus bile had eaten his hair away; this is all that had grown back.  She missed his curls, but had to admit that rubbing her hand over his fuzzy hair was a nice way to wile away a few hours on a sleepless night.




Buffy looked down at the snapping, snarling jaws below her and scrabbled up higher in the tree she was clinging to.  When she looked back down, all she could see were teeth – thousands and thousands of sharp teeth. She shook her head and looked again – the teeth were attached to … alligators? 


“When you’re up to your ass in alligators, it is hard to remember that your original mission was to drain the swamp,” came her own voice from down below.


Buffy looked across the snarling mound of alligators and saw herself sitting up on a cypress knee, casually sipping an iced cappuccino and smiling up at Buffy.


“What?” Buffy asked herself incredulously.  The teeth of one of the gators below her scraped against the bottom of her shoe and she shimmied higher up the straight, branchless tree she was clinging to.


“When you’re up to …”


“I heard what you said – what the fuck does that mean?” Buffy interrupted herself.


Cappuccino-Buffy sighed and shook her head. “It means, dumbass, that you’re so mired down in problems that you forgot what your original mission was.”


“I didn’t have a mission, dumbass,” Buffy retorted, looking down at herself. “I was dropped in here mission-less!”  Buffy began to slide down the slick, bark-less tree trunk and she tightened her grip with her arms and legs as the gators continued thrashing below her.


Cappuccino-Buffy rolled her eyes. “Fine – but just an hour before you were dropped in here, you had a mission.”


Buffy looked at herself blankly.


“You told Annie about it?” she prodded herself.


Buffy sobered. “To fix everything. To go back in time and fix everything.”


“Give the Slayer a Kewpie doll!” Cappuccino-Buffy exclaimed, touching a finger to her nose.


“But … I need Willow and … magic and a plan and …” Buffy stammered.


“Oh, please give me a break! You have everything you need right here in the swamp!” the Buffy on the ground asserted, waving one arm out.


Another alligator jumped up at Buffy and latched onto her booted foot. Buffy yelled and kicked at it with her other foot, holding on to the tree with just her arms. The large reptile growled and thrashed, but finally let go of her, leaving five teeth embedded in the side of her boot. Buffy shimmied further up the tree. Her arms and legs were quivering with the effort of holding on so tightly, but she had no intention of letting go with that tangle of teeth and tails below, just waiting to devour her.


When Buffy got back up out of reach of the gators, she looked around at what the other Buffy was talking about. The swamp looked like the Louisiana bayou that Richard Gere and Kim Bassinger tried to escape through in the movie ‘No Mercy’ – except for two small details.  The first difference was that along with the tall cypress and gum trees, which were heavily laden with Spanish moss, there were five huge alligators chomping at her heels. The second difference was the water: it was a crimson, glittering, gelatinous muck. Ok, maybe those aren’t really small details.


Buffy looked at her twin. “That stuff nearly killed me!” she told herself. “How is that supposed to help? I should just commit suicide by emotional meltdown … is that your great advice?”


“You know, your smartass remarks really make it hard for someone to help you,” Cappuccino-Buffy derided her as she crossed her legs casually and took another sip of her drink.


Buffy sighed heavily and kicked at another gator that almost made it high enough to clamp down on her foot.  It didn’t seem to matter how high in the tree she climbed, she could never get very far out of their reach.


“Ok, fine … tell me. I’m all atwitter with curiosity,” Buffy retorted sarcastically as she clutched the tree trunk.


Cappuccino-Buffy sighed and shook her head as she took another sip of her coffee. “How did you ever live this long without me?” she wondered idly.


“Pretty sure you’re my subconscious so I’m thinking you’ve been around the whole time,” Buffy shot back at her.


Cappuccino-Buffy pursed her lips in thought. “Oh. Huh … you must’ve actually been paying attention in that Psych 101 class.”


“Just tell me,” Buffy pleaded with herself as she clung to the tree.


“Who were you originally gonna send back in time to fix it?” Cappuccino-Buffy posited.


“Me – I would go back…” Buffy began.


“No! Originally,” Subconscious-Buffy cut her off tersely.


Buffy drew in a sharp breath and huffed it out as she kicked at another leaping alligator. “Do you think we can eighty-six these alligators?” she asked her subconscious. “It’s hard to remember the original mission when you’re ass deep in them, ya know.”


Subconscious-Buffy huffed out a breath of her own in mimicry of her counterpart, and tossed her empty Starbucks cup at the gators. They scattered like they had been shot – diving into the thick, scarlet, Jell-O and disappearing.


“You have no sense of adventure. You could never have your own reality TV show, I can tell you that right now,” her doppelganger informed her scornfully.


Buffy sighed in relief, both from the alligators leaving and the contention that she couldn’t have her own reality show, and slid down the tree to the bottom.  Not knowing how deep the ‘water’ was, she stood on one of the knobby cypress knees near the tree, balancing herself against the sturdy, smooth trunk of the giant, bald cypress. 


“Who knew the power of Starbucks Iced Cappuccino was so far reaching?” she quipped. “They really don’t charge enough for those things.”


“I’m not gonna hang around here all day. Places to go, people to annoy,” Subconscious-Buffy told her impatiently, crossing her arms over her chest.


“Right.” Buffy rubbed her eyes with her free hand. “Originally I told Spike he would go back and do one of those million things that he’s thought of that he should’ve done.


“But Rack’s gone, Tara …” Buffy began to explain.


“You don’t need them!” Subconscious-Buffy exclaimed in exasperation. “Look around you! Everything you need … everything Spike needs, is right here!” she asserted, waving her arms out.


Buffy’s brows furrowed. “He needs to be eaten by alligators?”


“You are insufferable!” Subconscious-Buffy scowled at her.


“Ok, now I know you’re not me! I have never in my life used the word ‘insufferable’,” Buffy contended tersely.


“Don’t blame me if I paid more attention in English class than you – probably because you were asleep over half the time!” Subconscious-Buffy informed her.


“Think, Slayer! I know there are some brain cells up there just waiting to be discovered,” Buffy’s twin taunted, giving her an expectant look.


Buffy huffed out a breath indignantly and rolled her eyes, feigning disinterest and boredom, but her mind was whirling, trying to figure out just what she was trying to tell herself. She thought about what the swollen, red dust had done to her when she smelled it. It sent memories hurtling through her...


She stopped and tilted her head in thought. Not memories. And they weren’t hurtling, she was.


She raised her eyes from the scarlet river below her and looked at her twin. “It sent me back in time … sent my consciousness back in time,” she realized. “They weren’t just memories. That’s why they felt so real –I was actually there.”


“You’re racking up the Kewpie dolls today, sister,” her smart-ass twin agreed. “You’ll be right up there with Dru ixn the ‘Adult Female with the Most Dollies’ category soon. You must be so proud,” subconscious-Buffy taunted.


Buffy rolled her eyes but didn’t respond to that; her mind was racing down another path – a path that might get her home, might fix everything.  Then she sobered as she remembered how helpless she’d been.


“But … I tried to talk to myself and I couldn’t. Plus, I had no control over where I went; I was all over the place. How is that gonna help? It would kill Spike to just go back and … relive it,” Buffy pointed out.


“If he wants it badly enough, he’ll find a way to communicate with himself.  Physically, it can’t kill him like it could you – his heart doesn’t beat. Emotionally … well, that’s another story.


“The question is, how much does he want it?” her doppelganger continued. “Is his love still true or has he changed too much? Does he even know how to love anymore? Has he given up? Does he believe? Does he still have the heart of a Warrior?


“He killed Dawn, after all … that’s not the Spike we know,” her subconscious-self asserted gravely.


Then, without warning, Subconscious-Buffy sprang up to her feet and stood on some bright green lily pads that rested atop the red goo. “I’m outta here … there’s a sale on Manolo Blahniks at Nordstroms.”


“There is?” Buffy asked hopefully, ready to be out of this mire, but suddenly her doppelganger was gone. 


Buffy sighed and leaned down to pick up some of the ruby red goo that surrounded the cypress knee she was standing on. She studied it, rubbing it between her fingers, but didn’t bring it to her nose, just in case.


“It’s gonna be up to you Spike,” she muttered. “I hope you’re still the man you used to be.”




Buffy’s eyes fluttered opened and she looked around. Spike … or rather William, was curled against her side, still sleeping. She couldn’t tell what time it was or how long she’d slept, but she suddenly felt refreshed as a glint of hope surged in her.  Could it work? Would the Reds’ dust, combined with holy water, send Spike back in time? Could Spike do it … could he change everything? Could he fix everything?


“Buffy…” William moaned and Buffy thought he had awoken – awoken as Spike.


Buffy looked at his face, but it was clear he was still asleep.  She wondered if Spike was in there trying to find his way out of the maze of walls he’d put up to block out the pain.  Tears stung her eyes and she caressed his face gently.


She wished she could go back in time and fix things here. If all she needed was motivation, then she knew that she would find a way to stop Glory – she’d find a way to make Annie whole, and make sure Spike, both Spikes, didn’t have to go through the pain he’d endured.  She was plenty motivated.  She thought Giftless!Spike was motivated too – but obviously her subconscious had its doubts.


She sighed heavily. She wouldn’t have the chance to try. It would have to be Spike. Without Rack, or another powerful practitioner, to send her back in time, she had no way to get there. The red goo sent her back, but to her own past, not the past of this dimension. 


Still … if Spike failed, she could try again herself. If she could stop Spike and Bess from going with Angel to fight the demon octopus, that would stop one huge snowball from rolling down and crushing them. If they didn’t go, then perhaps Buffy and Annie wouldn’t have gone to the Green Grocer that day; if they hadn’t gone, then Annie wouldn’t have gotten hurt and opened the portal. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.


Hope gleamed even brighter as she thought about the chain of events. If she could stop the first small pebble from rolling down the mountain, maybe she could stop the avalanche.  Hope continued to grow within her until she thought about the consequences of them not going with Angel. What if Angel couldn’t stop the octopus from crushing the reactor and the whole west coast, including Sunnydale, was flooded with toxic radiation?


“Damn it,” she muttered to herself angrily. Spike needed to succeed. He needed to find a way to stop Glory and stop the demons from taking over this dimension. That way there would be no octopus to fight. That was really the only sure way to make her family whole and keep them safe … or as safe as they could get living on the Hellmouth.


“Avengelyne,” William whispered as he raised a hand up to touch her face.


Buffy turned soft eyes to him and gave him a small smile. “Hey, baby. Did you sleep well?”


William brows furrowed slightly. “I had the queerest dreams,” he admitted, his voice still somewhat groggy.


“What about?”


William furrowed his brow as he thought. They had just been there in the front of his mind, but now seemed to have vanished with barely a trace. “I must admit to not actually remembering them so much as the feeling they inspired.”


“Which was?” Buffy asked gently.


William searched his mind for the perfect word for a few moments. “Desolate,” he finally settled on. “Completely empty and hopeless … barren … wretched. I missed you so terribly, Avengelyne. I … I never thought I’d see you again.”


“I missed you too, William. I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere, I promise,” Buffy assured him. She slid down on the mattress a little so her face was even with his. “I love you,” she whispered to him before pressing a soft kiss on his lips.


William wrapped his arms around her and pulled her body against his as he deepened the kiss. The feeling of her solid form pressed against him sent a wave of euphoria over him.  It was a feeling he thought he’d never know again.


Memories flashed behind his closed lids as they kissed and held each other.  He saw her laughing, dancing, and running through blue water on a pristine white beach. It was perplexing to William to see his Avengelyne in this way, her long, flaxen hair falling in waves around her beautiful face.  He pulled back from the kiss slightly to look at her.


Their gazes met momentarily, then his eyes began to wander over her face. He studied her features, as if trying to commit every detail to memory. He brushed his fingers through her tangled mane of blonde and his eyes followed his hand. There was scant little light here, just a sliver that shone through an open doorway from some unknown source, but every drop of it glinted off her tresses as if off spun gold.  This was the woman he saw when he closed his eyes, but he clearly remembered her with fiery red locks.


As if reading his mind, Buffy said, “It’s ok, William. The color of my hair doesn’t matter – the color of my heart is love and it’s all yours.”


William tilted his head slightly and gave a small nod. “And mine is yours – I feel that I’ve loved you forever, even before I met you.”


“I know … I know that feeling,” Buffy assured him as she moved her lips to his. She nibbled at his mouth, teasing his lips with her tongue. His tongue darted out and met hers, then he pressed his mouth against hers again and let his tongue delve into the depths of her warm, wet heat.


Buffy’s hands wandered over his t-shirt-clad back, down to his belt and back again. She longed to feel his skin under her fingers, feel his cool flesh against hers, feel the hardness of him pressing into her. 


Their mattress was in the main room of Andrew’s suite: the room he’d turned into the ‘gurney room’. Spike was sleeping in the bedroom proper; she didn’t know where Andrew was exactly.  The fact was, there was no privacy here; anyone could walk in at any moment.


Why the heck hadn’t she insisted on getting the room with a door on it? Why had Spike taken that room? That had been stupid and short-sighted on her part.


Buffy reached a hand between them and tugged on William’s belt, working the buckle with one hand and pulling it free. Her brain told her this was a bad idea. Her body didn’t care. Her skin prickled with desire, her pussy tingled and throbbed, desperate to have him. Her heart raced and her pulse pounded in her veins. She had to have him … privacy be damned.


When she began to unbutton his jeans, William grabbed her hand with his and stopped her.


“We … mustn’t … it’s not …” he gasped out, his chest heaving with desire of his own.


“We just need to be quiet,” Buffy assured him in a whisper.


“My dear Avengelyne, I do believe that it is physically impossible for you,” he contended, cocking a brow at her.


“Hmmph,” Buffy scoffed. “I can do anything I put my mind to,” she asserted in a low voice.


He gave her a doubtful look.


“Don’t you … want me?” she whined like a forlorn child.


“That is terribly unfair,” William asserted. “Of course I desire you … more than you can imagine.”


Buffy tilted her head and gave him her best pout, a look that conveyed: ‘if you don’t make love to me right now I’ll be heartbroken and may never recover’.


William sighed and bit his bottom lip.  Buffy knew she’d won.


She pulled her hand free of his easily and continued in her mission to free his erection from his jeans.  When she wrapped her hot hand around his steel shaft, William gasped.


What was it he had been saying? Why had he protested? He could no longer remember.


“Oh, Avengelyne,” William moaned in a deep rumble as she stroked her hand up and down his length. 


Buffy swirled the drop of pre-cum around his swollen head with her thumb and William’s hips jerked up against her of their own volition. If there had been more time, if they’d had more privacy, she would’ve done more, but they didn’t, so she didn’t. A quickie would have to do for now.


Buffy quickly unbuttoned her jeans, slid the zipper down, and shimmied out of them and her underwear without getting up. William began to do the same, but Buffy stilled him by climbing atop his hips and lowering herself onto his shaft.


To their credit, they both remained completely silent as her hips settled against his.  Buffy closed her eyes and just breathed, savoring the feeling of having him buried inside her again.


God, it had been so long … too long. For now, all the worries left her … left them both. The world outside could wait just a little while longer. Right now it was just them, together again after so many weeks apart. They needed this time, this moment, to touch the piece of themselves that had been missing. They both reveled in the familiar connection; not just of their bodies, but of their hearts, minds, and souls. A feeling of wholeness swelled up inside them both, and they were both stronger for it.


After a few moments, she opened her eyes and looked down to find him watching her intently.  Buffy leaned down and kissed him gently. Her heart felt like it would explode with joy when he slipped his hands under her top and caressed her back with a gentle, loving touch. His hands were strong yet silky on her flesh, cool against her heat, soothing and exciting at the same time. She suppressed the urge to moan and instead began moving her hips slowly back and forth against him.


William wanted to scream her name from the rooftops, but remained silent.  Her body engulfed him in flames – it was at once familiar and overwhelmingly unexpected. They had made love many times, but since losing her, he’d never allowed himself to dream that he would ever have this pleasure again. His hands sought out her flesh – always so hot and supple against his palms.


Oh, Avengelyne … my love. If you only knew what you do to me, he thought, wishing he could voice it aloud to her, tell her how she made him feel.


I know, came her voice inside his mind. You do the same to me, William.


William’s eyes flashed open as wide as saucers and he pushed her back slightly so he could see into her face. 


Buffy smiled down at him, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. Don’t be afraid, she assured him. I’ll let you in if you let me in…


I don’t … I don’t understand … how? How is this possible? William’s mind stammered back.


Don’t over-think it, Buffy advised. Just relax and enjoy it – feel what I’m feeling and let me feel you.


William looked at her with confusion for a moment. She resumed her slow rhythm atop him and concentrated on opening the bond fully. Just relax, she advised again. I’d never hurt you.


William took a deep breath and let his mind relax, taking pleasure in the feel of her tight, wet pussy moving over his cock. Almost instantly he could feel her … not her body, he could already feel that – it was her soul. He could feel her love and pleasure, and a warm glow of hope surging inside her. There were a thousand other feelings beyond those, but he took comfort in the snug feeling of adoration that poured over him from her. Could she feel his soul as well?


Yes, was the answer that filled his mind. Yes, I feel your soul, William.


Buffy grabbed the crumpled sheet from the bed next to them and pulled it over their bodies, cocooning them inside it as their movements became more urgent. She could feel his passion and the need that welled inside him. That same need burned within her – the need to fly with him to the moon and dance among the stars.


Only deep, panting breaths could be heard from under the sheet; not even the slightest moan escaped the lovers’ lips as their passion grew. Buffy stayed bent forward at the waist, leaning her head down as close to William’s as she could while still keeping him buried deep within her. She could barely see the blue of his eyes in the dark. The sliver of light that shone on their bed scarcely penetrated the cover of the sheet over them. But she didn’t need to see, she could feel his eyes locked on hers just as she knew he could feel hers upon him.


Buffy could feel her own orgasm building deep within her. William thrust up against her each time she came down, burying his shaft deeper with each stroke. When his fingers snaked between them and touched her clit, Buffy felt the explosion that had been building rocket through her body. The power of it was like a comet shooting across the vast nothingness of space – unimpaired by gravity or the heavy atmosphere of earth.


She gasped sharply as the bright, hot flames of passion reached her throat. Buffy swallowed back the scream that demanded release and instead sent it spiraling across the bond towards William, maintaining her silence. 


The powerful comet propelled her into the heart of the Milky Way. She zoomed around stars and through the constellations on the wings of bliss as William continued thrusting into her from below.


William felt her body tense when he touched her clit, then she begin to spasm with the ecstasy of her orgasm. Avengelyne’s green eyes never left his, even as she gasped in a deep breath of air and rocketed skyward. Through the bond, he could feel the power of her bliss – it washed over him like a tidal wave. It was no less than his. That didn’t really surprise him. It did, however, warm some part of him deep inside to discover that he could still elicit such a reaction from his angel. It was him she desired, after all … not the hooligan named ‘Spike’. 


Her pleasure, flowing into him through the bond, quickly overwhelmed William. His own sharp intake of breath was followed by his body following hers up to the highest heights. His cum exploded into her as her sugar walls danced and undulated around his manhood in an ardent ballet of desire. And then he could feel her passion ignite again as his silent roar of bliss flowed back through the bond to her.


William held to her desperately as the pair fed off each other’s power and love. They flew around the stars and the sun, burning with the ecstasy of the other.  The dance was all the more powerful for the silence that surrounded them. The energy that typically exploded from their throats had been swallowed back and transferred through the bond to the other, propelling them to the edge of the universe and back again.


Buffy’s body finally gave out and she collapsed atop her husband. All the muscles of her body had been pulled as tight as bow strings, but now were little more than overcooked noodles. Her chest heaved with quavering breaths as she tried to find some air in their little cocoon. She finally reached out and raised a corner of the sheet that covered them to allow a small stream of refreshingly cool air to wash over her overheated body.  It sent chill bumps racing over her damp skin and an involuntary shiver ran through her. It felt amazing.


William wrapped strong arms around her back and held her body against him as his soul settled back into place near his heart.  His angel never ceased to teach him something new – show him the most wondrous magic, and take him to heights he’d never have imagined before she came into his life. Yesterday when he saw her, his love surged anew. It bubbled within him stronger than ever; he couldn’t imagine that he could ever love her more than he had at that moment. But, as she’d done so many times before, this morning she’d opened a new door and led him through, showing him a beautiful garden full of wonders he didn’t even know existed.   


Buffy’s ragged breathing was the only sound to be heard in their little cocoon under the sheet. She clung to William and let him envelop her in his arms and his love. She relished the feeling of his body under her, of his soul so close to hers, of his passion still tingling across her skin.


And she allowed herself to hope.


Hope that what her subconscious-self said about the Reds’ dust was true. Hope that this hell-dimension’s Spike still had what it would take to find a way to communicate with his past self.  She didn’t really know what it would take to do that.


Her dream-self had said that in order to find a way, he just needed to want it badly enough. The million dollar question was: did he? Did he still have the heart of a Warrior? Did he believe things could be fixed? And most importantly, did he believe he could fix them?



End Notes:


Finally, a plan! Does Gift-less!Spike still have what it takes to save them all? Will he unwittingly thwart Buffy's plan by trying to be her hero? And what wrench might Cordy toss into the works? More to come.



I Knew I Loved You, Savage Garden



Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life




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