Monday, January 18^th, 2010, 1:30am:

As their children slept peacefully in their beds, Buffy paced the length of the upstairs hallway from the stairway to the twin’s room and back again as she waited for Spike to get home, careful not to step on the dusty pink rose petal trail that led up the stairs and down the hall to the ‘new’ bathroom. She couldn’t remember ever being so nervous in her life…well, maybe over the SATs or her driving test, but not over a guy … not over her husband. 

She’d found a stash of white pillar candles in the hall closet and had two large groups of them burning on the floor of the bathroom on either side of the carved wooden bench in the dressing area. Their soft glow reflected in the mirrors that surrounded the bench on three sides and it looked like they went on forever as they reflected from one mirror to the other and back again. She’d also scattered more candles around on the vanity and near the tub, which was full of steaming water splashed with scented bath oil with more rose petals floating in it, making the whole room smell like a garden full of roses and gardenias.  She’d struggled with what to wear, finally settling on a white nightgown that had thin straps, a stretchy, lace-covered bodice that hugged her upper body and a full, satin skirt with a flowing kerchief hem that fell just below the knee. She’d put on some strappy high-heeled, white sandals with it, knowing how much Spike liked seeing her in heels … she hoped the look wasn’t too ‘lady of the evening’.

Buffy checked her hair in the mirror at the top of the stairs for the hundredth time before turning and starting her journey back down the hallway. It’s Spike … it’s me and it’s Spike, she tried to assure herself, but the butterflies continued to flutter in her stomach. What if he’d changed? What if she hadn’t? What if … what if she really wasn’t the same person and they didn’t connect like they had before? What if? What if? What if?

After pacing the length of the hallway and back again, and checking her hair yet again, Buffy turned to start her trek anew for the up-teenth time. As she turned, she nearly jumped out of her skin when she almost ran into Annie, who had come up behind her.

“Oh, God! You scared me!” Buffy exclaimed, trying to get her racing heart to slow back to just a fast gallop. “What are you doing up, honey?”

“I had to go bathroom,” Annie explained. “You look pretty.”

“Do I?” Buffy questioned, looking back in the mirror again. “Do you think Papa will like it?”

“He says you’d be pretty in a burlap sack!” Annie informed her with a smile and Buffy laughed.

“That was probably when I was wanting to buy a really expensive dress and he was wanting to buy a do-dad for the Harley instead,” Buffy offered.

Annie shrugged. “I think burlap would be itchy,” Annie pointed out, rolling her eyes.

Buffy laughed again and nodded in agreement. “Silk and satin is much better.

“Hey, Annie … can you use the bathroom downstairs, honey … I kind of have that one … occupied,” Buffy requested, tilting her head towards the upstairs bathroom.

“I know … you’re gonna give Dad smoochies, huh?”

Buffy smiled and bit her bottom lip lightly with her teeth before answering. “Yeah … do I … do I give him smoochies a lot?”

“Uh-huh …” Annie confirmed with a smile. “He likes your smoochies! He always smiles afterwards and says you taste like heaven!”

“Does he? That’s good … that’s good to know,” Buffy told her, trying to hold back a silly, schoolgirl grin.

“I think it’s just the chocolate he tastes …” Annie admitted and Buffy laughed out loud.

“Do I eat a lot of chocolate?” Buffy asked with an amused smile.

Annie nodded enthusiastically. “He says we’re his ‘cocoa cuties’!”

“Well, maybe things haven’t changed that much, after all…”

**~**

Buffy got Annie put back to bed and finally, at 2:13am, according to the grandfather clock at the end of the hall that Buffy had been watching, Spike walked through the garden doors.  Buffy ran down the hallway to the bathroom and closed the door gently behind her as she tried to decide where to wait for him, finally settling on the wooden bench. They could start there and move to the tub …

Oh, God, is the water still hot? she wondered, running over to it and dipping her fingers in … plenty warm enough, not steaming, but, hopefully, she and Spike would be making their own stem very soon.

Buffy could hear Spike’s boots on the stairs as he took them two at a time, following her rose petal trail. Thank goodness Lorne had so many friends in this town … he knew exactly who to call to have a dozen of the dusty-pink beauties delivered, even at the late hour that Buffy had come up with her plan and called him for help.

Buffy heard Spike’s footsteps getting nearer and she took a deep breath and quickly laid down on her side on the bench, resting her head on one hand, bending her knees slightly and pulling the hem of her nightgown up to show more thigh … then she put it back down, thinking that was too skanky … then pulled it back up ‘cos Spike wouldn’t think it was skanky, he’d think it was hot. She picked up the last dusty pink rose and laid it down on the bare skin of her thigh, holding it in place lightly with her free hand.  She’d no sooner gotten set, than the bathroom door opened and she heard Spike step in, then the door close and the lock turn.

Spike walked slowly up to the dressing area … an area that used to be part of a bedroom next to the bathroom before Xander not only re-tiled the old monstrosity, but re-plumbed it and expanded it to fit their expanding family, as well. Spike stopped moving when he saw Buffy … he would’ve stopped breathing had he actually needed to breathe, and his heart would’ve stopped beating.  She seemed to be floating on the soft candlelight that surrounded her, her hair shimmered in the golden glow and framed her face like a halo … this was his angel, all dressed in white.

How had he not known that all this time? How had he not remembered? He thought that Avengelyne’s face, her eyes, her voice, her touch, her love, were burned into his mind like a brand, that he’d never forget them – not in a hundred years, not in a million or even a trillion … but he’d never put the two together before.  He always knew that Buffy was his angel … his heaven; he just didn’t realize that she was the angel he’d been searching for all those years.  Of course there couldn’t be more than one angel for him … it made perfect sense now, she was the one – the one and only woman that he’d ever truly loved with every fiber of his being, with his whole heart and soul.

Buffy held her breath as Spike came into view and she waited for his reaction.  It had been so long since she’d been with Spike that she felt like it was their first time, only now there was so much more at stake.  Their first time was about lust … it was about solace and perhaps a little defiance and trying to forget the world for a while … this was about so much more; this was about love. As confident as she’d been with William (had that only been a couple of days ago?), Buffy found herself feeling full of doubt and insecurities with Spike. What if the years she’d spent alone had changed her too much?

Buffy saw a range of emotions cross Spike’s face and flash through those expressive eyes, from awe to lust to something that looked like realization.  After Spike didn’t move or say anything for what seemed an eternity to Buffy, she finally swung her legs around, sat up on the bench, and extended the rose towards him.

Spike stepped closer to her and took the rose from her hand as he went down on one knee in front of her. He took her hand and kissed the back of it gently, then began trailing soft kisses up her arm. Buffy reached out to lay her other hand on his cheek, but he moved at just the wrong time and she poked him in the eye. Spike gasped and grabbed his eye, dropping her arm and the rose and turning away from her.

“Oh, God, I’m sorry! Oh, are you alright?” Buffy questioned with genuine concern. Buffy went to stand up so she could go around and check on him, but Spike stood up at the same time and they head butted each other, both exclaiming “Ow!” in unison and grabbing their heads. The head-butt knocked Buffy back onto the bench and her legs swung out from under her when her butt hit. As Spike went to walk over to the sink to run some water over his injured eye, his legs tangled in hers and he fell flat on his face on the hard tile floor.

“Oh, God! Spike! I’m so sorry!” Buffy began again as Spike moaned and rolled over; forgetting about his eye and head as he tried to straighten what he was sure was a broken nose before the Gem of Amarra healed it crooked.

When Buffy stood up to go over to him and help, the heel of her shoe got caught in the hem of her nightgown and she stumbled, kicking over several of the candles and spilling hot wax on the instep of her foot and over her bare toes.  Buffy screamed out in pain, pulled her foot away from the hot wax instinctively and kicked Spike hard in the ribs.

“Bloody hell!” Spike exclaimed, forgetting about his broken nose and reaching for his broken ribs, but he didn’t stand a chance of reaching them before Buffy tumbled down on top of him, as she tried to balance on one foot so she could get her shoe, and the hot wax, off the other.

“Oh, God! Spike! I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed again as he yelled out in renewed pain when she came down hard on his stomach and chest, sending knifes of pain through Spike’s torso from his injured ribs.

Buffy finally got her shoe, and the rapidly hardening wax, off her foot and started to try and get up off Spike, not sure how much pain he was in, but Spike wrapped his arms around her and held her firm. “Please, just stop,” he requested as he kicked two of the still burning candles that she’d knocked over away from them before they both went up in flames … and not in the kind of flames he had in mind when he came in here a few minutes ago.

“I’m sorry … I’m so sorry,” Buffy cried as she turned over and buried her face against his shoulder and tried to lie as still as she could so she didn’t do anything else to hurt him.  “I screwed this all up… Are you ok?” Buffy asked, not daring to move or even look up.

“I’ll survive …” Spike assured her. “What about your tootsie?”

“I’m so sorry, Spike … I wanted this to be perfect … I just wanted … I ...” Buffy stammered as she began to cry against him, ignoring his question. She’d completely fucked this whole thing up … He must think I’m drain bamaged. ‘Klutzy Slayer kills husband, sets house on fire – story at eleven!’

“Buffy, luv … look at me,” Spike requested softly and Buffy slowly and carefully lifted her face to look at him, mindful to not hit him in the chin with her head as she raised up.

“You’re tryin’ too hard, pet,” he told her as he brushed her hair back from her face with one hand. “You’re nervous as a long tailed tabby in a room full a’ rockin’ chairs. Nothin’ needs to be perfect … nothin’s ever perfect, luv, and that’s the beauty of life, that’s what keeps it interestin’.”

Buffy snorted softly. “Well, then this must be one of the most interesting nights of your life…” she replied dryly, rolling her eyes.

Spike sat up, turning her around and pulling her with him as he leaned back against one wall of the dressing area, a safe distance away from the candles. Spike wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against his chest as she sat between his legs on the cool tile floor.

“Buffy … I can’t begin to imagine all you’ve been through, I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away; I’d bear it for you if I could; but no matter what, you ‘ave to know that I love you. I love you in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to believe in you, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live and beyond,” Spike assured her, reciting their marriage vows to her. “You remember that, yeah?”

Tears ran down Buffy’s face and she nodded slowly. “I remember … I just … Spike, I’m afraid … I’ve changed. I’m so afraid that I’m not … I’m not the same person you love, that I’m not the same person that you made those vows to.”

“No? Who are you, then?” Spike questioned. “The Slayer? A wild, fallen angel? My best friend? The woman who believed in me, who fought alone to save me and our family? The mother o’ my children? My heaven, my earth, my stars? ‘Cos I made those vows to all those women.”

Buffy closed her eyes and let out a deep breath, shaking her head slowly from side to side. “I’m just Buffy …” she whispered, covering her face with her hands as the tears came harder.

“Ah, well … that’s different, innit?” Spike asked rhetorically. “Just Buffy’s m’ favorite of ‘em all… you know why?”

“No,” Buffy replied, her voice barely audible.

“I’ll tell ya,” Spike began as he pulled her hands away from her eyes. “’Cos that’s Just Buffy,” he told her, pointing to her reflection in the mirror across from them. “Just Buffy is a living, breathin’ basket of contradictions and puzzles, she changes constantly and confounds and confuses the sharpest minds with ‘er charms. She’s strong and vulnerable, she’s serious and funny, she’s sexy and … uhh … damn sexy, she’s fire and ice, devil and angel, naughty and nice, woman and girl. Every day she surprises and perplexes me with somethin’ new … a new puzzle, a new contradiction … and I get to spend the rest of eternity unraveling all those contradictions and finding the answers to all those puzzles.”

“So, you’re saying I’m a Rubik’s Cube?” Buffy asked sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

Spike chuckled lightly and wrapped his arms around her tighter, pulling her back tight against his chest. “You, my darling wife, are the mother of all Rubik’s Cubes. You are a jumbled up rainbow o’ colors and 'ave more sides than dodecahedron.”

Buffy scrunched up her face in confusion. Did he just call me a ‘dodo’? “I’m not sure I know what that means …”

“It means, luv, that it’s gonna to take more than a poked out eye, a bump on the noggin, a broken nose, some cracked ribs, and being nearly set on fire to get rid o’ me.”

Buffy laughed and rolled her eyes. “Well … I’ve got more where that came from,” she warned him.

“Do your worst, luv … I don’t scare easy.”

Buffy laughed and shook her head as she rubbed at her eyes. She should’ve known he wouldn’t have changed … he still knew just the right thing to say, he still knew how to comfort her, how to make her feel like she was the center of the universe …

“I love you, Spike,” she whispered as she leaned back and relaxed in his arms, closing her eyes and letting the memories of what seemed a long ago life flood her heart … memories of other times spent in his strong arms, memories of laughter and passion and … smoochies.

“I love you, Buffy,” Spike whispered back against her ear.  She had told him a lot about what had happened to her, but he knew that she was holding something back … he didn’t know what.  She’d told him of the time she’d spent with him in purgatory … in the cold red-hell-limbo, and how the trials had ‘taken a toll’ on him … but she’d hedged when he questioned her about what happened after that. How had the trials ended? What had been his fate? She said she didn’t know … that one day he was just gone; she said it didn’t matter anyway because the wish had skewed the trials, they weren’t fair … they weren’t real.

He could only guess that his judgment was what he always thought it would be – hell. There would be no second chances for him; his soul wouldn’t be recycled, there would be no ‘give it another try’s here on earth, and definitely no heaven. She didn’t want to tell him that … he could understand her trepidation; he wouldn’t want to say those words to her if the situation were reversed.  He wished he could remember it himself … but at the same time, he was thankful that he didn’t.  He was sure that one day he’d have his chance again, that he’d face those same trials and most likely, meet the same fate that she’d witnessed and reversed, which was all the more reason to relish his time on earth, with his wild, fallen angel.

“You know,” Spike started, his mouth close enough to her ear that she could feel his breath against her skin, “If you’re still set on perfection, they say there is one way to achieve it.”

“Yeah? What’s that?” Buffy asked as she hugged his arms even tighter around her body with hers.

“Practice, practice, practice …”

“Is that right?” Buffy asked coyly, a small smile replacing her tears.

“Uh-huh,” Spike assured her as he pulled her hair back and trailed his tongue slowly down from her ear to her shoulder and back up again.

“Mmmmmm,” Buffy moaned, tilting her head to the side to give him easy access to her neck. “I guess we should get on that right away then…”

Buffy reluctantly pulled away from Spike, pushed her other shoe off with her slightly burnt toes, and very carefully stood up … taking extra care not to step on him or kick him or anything him, before offering him her hand and pulling him to his feet.  When Spike was standing in front of her, he pulled her to him and kissed her lips softly over and over again.  Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the tender kisses … there was no rush to them, there were no demands. Like a child would savor the last few bites of ice cream in a bowl, taking smaller and smaller bites to make it last as long as possible, Buffy and Spike savored the feel and the taste of their lover’s lips as moments turned into minutes.

Buffy was still half-afraid that she’d wake up at any moment … that none of this was real, but it felt real. His soft lips on hers felt unbelievably real; his strong arms around her felt just as she remembered; his body pressed against hers made her heart race and her own body ache in need of him.  Surely it had to be real … after all, who would put a ‘Keystone Cops’ sequence in and turn a perfectly good wet dream into a comedy of errors?

Spike could feel her nervous fear start to wane as he rained the gentle kisses over her lips. What she must’ve been through! Alone for five years … not even a friend to confide in, to lean on, no one to hold on those long, cold nights. He thought of Avengelyne and remembered the sadness in her eyes, how her tears had torn at William’s heart and how she had shown him what love could be; what was possible.  Buffy had never stopped loving him. In all those years, she’d never taken another lover … yes, she’d turned to Rack and his magical high, but hadn’t Spike turned to whiskey more than once in his long life to ease the pain of being alone?  Her love and devotion for him never ceased to amaze Spike, how deep her love must be. 

Spike’s heart filled anew with love for this woman … this Slayer, who, for reasons unknown, had chosen him to love.  His heart suddenly felt like it was the winged angel … soaring among the stars with exaltation … filled with bliss and rapture.  Spike put his hands on each side of Buffy’s face and pulled back to look into her eyes … those eyes that shone like sparkling emeralds, those eyes that were filled with love.

“Why do you love me?” Spike asked her softly, searching the depths of her eyes, trying to see into her soul.

Buffy felt like she was drowning in the blue of his eyes as he delved into hers – the one thing that never changed were Spike’s eyes. So expressive, now they were filled with love and compassion and … hope.  Hope for the future, hope for their family, hope for the world … it was the thing that she had tried to give Spike in purgatory, but she had never really succeeded in building his hope into more than a small flickering flame. But now hope burned eternal in her husband’s eyes and Buffy knew in that instant that this wasn’t a dream; it was real. She was back home and that small hope that she had felt earlier blossomed in her heart into something that was tangible, real.

“I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you … not once, but twice,” Buffy replied just as softly. “You’re the other half of me, Spike, and somehow the entire universe knows that we belong together … the entire universe minus one – you.”

Spike shook his head slowly, as much as he loved her, as filled with light as his heart was to realize the depths of her love, he still wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve it.  “What happened to me … what happened in the trials?” he asked her, his eyes never wavering from hers, daring her to tell him the truth.

Buffy tried to look away, but he held her head still and moved with her eyes, so she couldn’t avoid his gaze.  “They weren’t real, Spike. All they could see was the bad, the demon.  I love you because I can see the good, I can see the man … I know what’s in your heart; I know your soul. You have to trust me when I say that what happened there will not be your fate. This I promise you … I ‘Spike’ promise.

“I walked through hell to save you … to save our children, all our children,” Buffy continued. “That won’t be in vain, Spike … I know it, I feel it … I promise.”

“You save me every day, Buffy. You’ve saved me every day since that night in the Common. I don’ know how you did it, but you touched a piece of my soul that night, protected it with your love from the demon … it’s always been there, waiting for you to unlock it.  I felt it that first time I saw you in the Bronze … didn’t know what it was then, but I do now. It was that piece of me that was still searching for my angel, it never left me; it knew you instantly,” Spike admitted.

Buffy shook her head slowly. “No, Spike … that wasn’t me protecting a piece of your soul – that was you. It’s always been you, even before … before there was an Avengelyne. You always thought that William was a … ‘ponce’, but that’s not true.  William has the soul of a warrior …”

“An’ the heart of a lion?” Spike questioned, tilting his head to study her as he repeated what Avengelyne had told William all those years ago.

Buffy smiled softly and nodded before laying her palm against Spike’s unbeating heart. “He was strong enough to fight the demon when it really mattered … he was strong enough to keep that small piece of his soul safe, hidden from the demon – and that’s made all the difference, Spike. It saved your … our babies back then, it saved Giles from Angelus, it saved me and all of our friends more than once…even before Avengelyne, before the wish, you tried to save your mother from her illness, so it wasn’t me, Spike – it was you.”

“The chip … the soul …” Spike started to protest, but Buffy interrupted him.

“In the other dimension, the chip was an excuse … you had ample opportunity to kill me, to kill my friends … you had Willow and Xander in the factory, completely defenseless … and yet, you didn’t kill them, even before the chip,” Buffy pointed out.  “Just like getting the rest of your soul restored in this life, getting the chip in the other life was an excuse for the demon to give in to William.  Neither of those things made you help us … but you did, time and time again, even as the demon protested.  You’re a warrior Spike … with a good heart … do you really need to ask me again why I love you?”

Spike studied her face as he processed what she’d said … What other vampire had ever saved their family? He always thought it was his Guardian Angel that had given William the strength to do that … but now she said even before the wish he had tried to save his mother. And she was right, in the other dimension, even with the chip, if he had wanted to kill her and her little Scooby gang, it wouldn’t have been that hard to do. There were plenty of ways he could’ve done it without triggering the chip if he’d really wanted to, but the fact was, he didn’t really want to. There was always something holding the demon back with her and her group of misfits; that little piece of soul that William had been able to hang onto – it knew her, it could feel her soul, it knew she was the one; his soul mate, his other half. Spike finally gave her a small nod of agreement and Buffy gave him a reassuring smile.

“When’d you get so smart, Slayer?” Spike asked her, his voice low and soft.

Buffy shrugged. “I’ve always been smart; I just don’t like to let on … kinda like a certain vampire I know … Professor Weckerly.”

Spike snorted softly and rolled his eyes. “Don’ go spreadin’ that around. Watcher’ll be wanting me ta piddle with ‘is books or some such nonsense.”

Buffy raised her brows and laughed. “Yeah, I can definitely think of better things to piddle with …”

Spike leaned down and touched her lips with his, kissing her softly again as he’d done before.  Buffy leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he pulled her tightly against his body and deepened the kiss.  He could feel her need building again along with his own, but he didn’t want to rush this. Even though Spike remembered all the love they’d made over the last years, including just two nights ago, before going on patrol and meeting that big blue demon, he knew Buffy didn’t. Except for that night with William, this woman in his arms had been alone for nearly five years … for her it wasn’t one of their many nights (or days) together, it was a big deal … it was special … it meant a lot.

“I think the water got cold…” Buffy murmured against Spike’s lips.

“No worries…we can christen it another night. How about I get a shower an’ meet you back in our room, yeah?” Spike suggested and Buffy nodded shyly, as if she was thirteen and a boy had just invited her to go under the bleachers with him to neck.

Spike gave her one last kiss and released her and Buffy stepped away from him, picked her shoes up from where she’d left them and started towards the door.

“Just be a minute, luv…” Spike assured her. He wouldn’t have even done that except he knew he smelled like Willy’s … beer, and cigarettes, and demon blood from the fight he’d broken up earlier, and that wasn’t what he wanted her to remember from this night.

“Okay,” Buffy murmured as she reached the door and put her hand on the lock. She turned back and watched him as he dropped his t-shirt and jeans into a hamper inside one of the closets in the dressing area and slid his boots in next to it before closing the mirrored door.  There was a whole line of hampers in there, each with a name over them just like the towel racks … Papa, Mama, Annie, Billy, and Dani.  Buffy couldn’t help but smile … how had she managed to train them all, even Spike, to put their clothes in the hampers rather than leave them on the floor?  She’d have to ask him about that one day…

Buffy watched as he went to the shower, stepped in and turned it on … not even waiting the requisite five minutes for the warm water to make it through the old, rusty pipes. His body was just as she remembered, lean and sculpted and just begging to be touched. Buffy felt a wave of desire wash over her body, sending goose bumps racing out from her core in all directions, up and down her arms and legs and tingling the back of her neck all the way up to her scalp.  Buffy let go of the latch on the door, leaving it locked. She dropped her shoes from her hand and slid her nightgown off her shoulders, letting it drop to the floor next to them.

Spike jumped slightly when Buffy came up behind him and took the sudsy sea sponge out of his hand as she stepped into the shower with him. “I’ll get your back…” Buffy offered with an easy smile.

“Thanks, luv,” Spike replied as he turned and leaned against the side of the tiled shower.  He’d made sure Xander had made it big enough for both of them to fit in comfortably … just in case one of them needed those hard to reach places … uhhh … reached.

Buffy smiled at the label on the soap he’d been using. “Stud Bubbles” it said and it smelled of sandalwood and vanilla. She added a little more of the soft soap to the sponge and started at his shoulders, covering them thoroughly with the creamy lather.

“Who picked this out?” Buffy asked as she worked her way down one of his arms, then back up and started on the other.

“Demon Bird gave it to us for Christmas … said it was an ancient aphrodisiac supposedly used by Cleopatra,” Spike explained.

“Hmmm, hope she kept some for her and Xander,” Buffy mused as she started down Spike’s back with the suds, using the sponge and her hand to draw circles over the hard muscles of his back.

Spike moaned, closed his eyes, and dropped his head as Buffy kneaded and massaged his back. “You’re tight…” she informed him as she worked.

Spike chuckled softly. “That’s usually my line, pet…”

Buffy laughed and slapped his shoulder lightly. “You’re so bad…

After a moment, her voice turned serious and she asked, “Spike, are we ok – you and me? I mean … money must be a problem… Anya said she and Xander were … well, they’re having money problems and…” Buffy’s voice trailed off, not sure exactly how to ask him if they were having the same problem as their friends. She continued to massage up and down the hard muscles on either side of his spine, working the tightness and soreness out little by little as she waited for his answer.

“We’re fine, luv. We manage with the money. Willy don’t pay much, but the work’s regular and fits my schedule. I’m sorry ‘bout the money … William’s money,” he began again.

“No … don’t ever apologize for that again, you did the right thing. Spike … I would give that money and Dru’s money and this house and every dime I’ve ever made, every pair of shoes I’ve ever bought, every bit of jewelry you’ve ever given me, for this moment in time. For you, for our family … I’d give everything I own for this. I don’t care if we have to live on the streets and eat out of dumpsters … as long as we’re all together, that’s all that matters,” Buffy assured him.

Spike turned around under the spray, sending water spattering in all new directions, and pulled her into a hug. “I promised your mum and your Watcher that I’d take care of you and provide for our family … and I will, Buffy. You never need to worry.  You won’t be eatin’ out of any bloody dumpsters…”

Buffy nodded against his chest as the warm water rained down on both of them and the sandalwood and vanilla wafted lightly through the damp air. “You can find some really good stuff in dumpsters if you know where to look,” Buffy pointed out, having lived in the streets and alleyways of many a city as she hunted her prey over the last years had given her a new appreciation for dumpster diving.

“Humph!” Spike disagreed. “For us, maybe … I’m afraid your girly-girl daughter would object.”

“What about Dani and Billy?” Buffy questioned, looking up at him as water bounced off his shoulder and splattered on her face.

“Our Lemon Drop … she could hold ‘er own with the best dumpster divers, I’d wager,” Spike enlightened her.

Buffy smiled at his new nickname for Dani. “Lemon Drop?”

Spike shrugged. “Sweet, but got a kick to ‘er, that girl does. Don’t want to get on ‘er bad side, but ya just gotta love her – like ‘er mum – sweet and tart at the same time – full a’ contradictions,” Spike explained.

Buffy smiled and laid her head back against his shoulder. “And Billy?”

“Junior, well … he’d be happy long as there were books to be had. I believe he’d rather read than eat…” Spike told her.

“Well, then … we’ll just have to make sure we pick the right dumpsters … maybe Borders or Barnes & Nobel…” Buffy mused. “There was this one huge bookstore on Piccadilly, they had the best scones, it was so big, you could hide in there for hours out of the cold and no one ever asked you to leave…”

“You’re a piece a’ work, you are,” Spike laughed as he lifted her face to his and dropped a kiss on her nose. He wasn’t sure how, but this woman, who couldn’t remember the last five years of their life, had made him love her even more.  Yes, she’d been changed, but it was clear the changes had made her stronger, had made her appreciate their family even more, and seemed to have opened her heart to him even wider.

“Now, what happened to m’ back?” Spike asked. “Not trying to get out of it, are ya?”

“No way…” Buffy assured him, releasing him and stepping back as he turned back around and faced the wall.

Buffy continued to massage Spike’s hard muscles, the silky soap made his skin feel even softer and her hands slid over his muscles easily. Buffy worked her way down further, kneading his lower back with strong hands and Spike moaned again and leaned heavily against the wall of the shower as he let her work out all the stress and worry from his taut muscles.  He had been worried about her since the blue demon attack … and then, when he found out about the wish and all she’d been through, his concern for her just grew, manifesting in his body with sore and tired muscles.  Her hands on his body were like magic … erasing the fears, the worries, the doubts … this was still his wife, what she’d been through would be with her forever; what she’d lost, the years by his side, watching their children grow, could never be replaced, but it was still Buffy.

Buffy moved her hands to his butt, lathering his cheeks with the fragrant soap as she admired the view. He’d always had the cutest ass … and it hadn’t changed one bit, the view from behind Spike was almost as good as the view from the front.  Buffy reluctantly pulled herself away from her adoration of his hiney and moved down his strong legs, over his hamstrings, past his knees, calves, ankles, feet … then she started back up, running her hands up the outside of his legs to his slim hips.  She got more soap on the sea sponge and lathered it between her palms, then circled his body with her hands. Leaning against his back, she wrapped her arms around his torso and lathered his chest and abs … then went lower.

Spike smirked as he watched her hands move over his body, covering his skin with the fragrant aphrodisiac. With her body pressed against his back, so warm and supple, her hands caressing his body, her breath on his skin ...  he really didn't need any help in the 'aphrodisiac department'. By the time Buffy reached his cock, it was standing at attention for her, and she wasted no time lathering it with the ‘Stud Bubbles’.

“Pretty sure that’s not m’ back, luv…” Spike pointed out with a smirk.

“Sure it is… it’s the front of your back … I did the back of your back, now I’m doing the front of your back. I’m nothing if not thorough,” she informed him with a sly smile.

“Ahhh, well then, carry on.”

“I plan to…” Buffy murmured back as she stroked his cock from behind, then circled his balls with the soft sponge, eliciting a moan from her husband.  God, she’d missed that sound … that low, rumbling growl that seemed to come from the deepest depths of his being. It told her more than words could ever say … it told her he still wanted her, it told her that her touch still reached that deepest part of him … that things hadn’t changed between them, it told her they could still take each other to heaven.

Spike started to turn in her arms and Buffy released her hold on his cock.  “I want to make love to you,” Spike whispered to her when he was facing her, his eyes locked onto hers. “Slow and sweet, in our bed … In my arms, all night long.”

His words surprised Buffy at first, before she realized that, of course, he knew this a big deal for her … it wasn’t just another night for her … it meant a lot. He wouldn’t want it to be rushed and frantic in the shower … he’d want to give her everything he had, his body, his heart, his soul … all night long.

Buffy bit her bottom lip as tears welled in her eyes for what seemed like the millionth time since she’d gotten home. How the tribunal couldn’t have seen the tenderness, the goodness in this man, even through the magic veil that Hallie had cast, was beyond her. The last of her butterflies fluttered away … she finally felt like she was really home and things didn’t need to be perfect, in fact, if you can’t be imperfect with the man you love, then who could you show your imperfections to?

Buffy lifted up on her toes as the warm water continued to shower down on them, rinsing the suds from their bodies, and kissed Spike gently on the lips. “Yes … make love to me. Show me what true love feels like, William.”

**~**