Saturday, January 16^th, 2010:

Buffy didn’t know how long she’d sat there on the floor of Annie’s room, trying to make sense of the senseless, when she was pulled from her thoughts by a phone ringing.  Buffy stumbled to her feet and tracked the sound down. “Yeah?” she answered, her voice as tired and downtrodden as the rest of her felt.

“Mom! Are you ok? You’re late … Dad called earlier and said you were gonna pick us up.”

“Annie?” Buffy questioned … wondering when she had turned into ‘Mom’ and Spike had turned into ‘Dad.’

“Should I call him? Are you ok?” Annie questioned.

“No … no … I’m fine, I just got … I lost track of time. I’ll be right there,” Buffy assured her.

Buffy found her purse and rushed downstairs to the garage, but the only thing in there was the Harley … she went out to the driveway where she found a blue minivan and she snorted and rolled her eyes. How had she let Spike talk her into that?!  Buffy climbed in and tried to familiarize herself with the controls a minute before starting it and heading to the Northwest Community Center as fast as she could.

Buffy could see a small group of children and an adult that looked like the soccer coach waiting in front of the Community Center when she rounded the corner. Her heart skipped a beat then began racing even faster in her chest; there they were … the babies! Her babies, their babies … all grown up! 

Buffy slammed the transmission into park before the minivan was even fully stopped and jumped out. She made it around the vehicle just as the group started making their way up the sidewalk to her, the two towheaded blondes in the lead.  Buffy grabbed them, one in each arm as they ran down the sidewalk and pulled them to her, raining kisses down on their faces and heads as they laughed and squirmed to get away from their crazy mother.

“Mama! Stop … that tickles!” Billy exclaimed as he giggled and tried to put his hands up to protect himself.

Dani just laughed and used her free hand to tickle Billy further by poking him in the ribs, which made him squirm and laugh and squeal louder.

“Oh, God … oh my babies! Look how big you are! I love you so much! I missed you … God, I missed you,” Buffy exclaimed as she held them close. Tears fell from her eyes … her little babies were little people now … walking and talking and laughing. How did this happen? How did she miss all those years?  Buffy pulled back to look at them … they were beautiful children, still just as blonde as the day they were born. Billy looking more and more like his father every day with deep blue eyes, sharp cheekbones and a curly mop of thick, soft hair.  Dani looked just like Bess from 1890 … if there was any doubt before that Hallie had, in fact, stolen her children, there was none now. Her hair was wavy, but not as curly as Billy’s, and long, and it framed an angelic face with the same blue eyes as her siblings and father.

“Mom? Are you sure you’re ok?” Annie asked as she and the coach made it up to where she was holding the twins.

Buffy looked up and bit her lip to try and hold back the tears as she looked into her eldest daughter’s eyes.  “Annie … oh, my little Annie … look at you,” Buffy cried as she set the twins down and pulled her little ballerina into a tight hug.  “Oh, Annie … you’re so beautiful. I knew you would be … I knew … you look just like …” Buffy almost said Anne, because she did, just like the Anne from 1890, but she corrected herself at the last minute, “… just like your father.”

“Gee, thanks, Mom! That’s what every girl wants to hear!” Annie moaned with an eye roll as she pulled back from Buffy’s embrace.

“No … I mean … look at you,” Buffy amended as she reluctantly released her daughter. Buffy put her hand on Annie’s cheek and just looked at her for a moment … she was what now? Spike said it was January, 2010 … Buffy counted in her head, almost eleven! “You’re beautiful … you’re not my little girl anymore …” Buffy muttered, shaking her head in disbelief and sorrow for having missed the intervening years, but at the same time joyful for having somehow gotten back to them.

“What about me?!” came a small voice from Buffy’s right and she felt someone tugging on her shirt.

Buffy looked down … it was another child that had been waiting. A boy about the age of Dani and Billy with a thick head of dark brown hair and soulful brown eyes.  Buffy’s mind whirled … did they have another child? She hadn’t seen another room …

Suddenly Dani punched the brunette boy in the arm. “You smell too bad for anyone to hug you, JJ!” Dani informed him with a smirk.

Buffy couldn’t help but laugh as she went down on her knees in front of the boy and took him into a hug. “I missed you too, JJ. And you don’t smell bad.”  

“Wow … you must really love your kids …” the coach commented after a few moments. “Most parents are happiest when they’re dropping them off … not picking them up.”

Buffy composed herself the best she could and stood back up, wiping the tears away and putting on a smile. “Yeah … I do, you have no idea...

“I’m really sorry I’m late…” Buffy continued.

“Ah, it happens,” the coach dismissed it with a wave. “I wanted to talk to you or your husband about Billie anyway … she’s really outstanding … the best I’ve seen in fifteen years of coaching five year olds,” the man started and Buffy shook her head slightly trying to make sure her hearing wasn’t going as well as her mind.

“She? Billy?” Buffy questioned.

“Yeah, she’s quick and smart and has a lot of natural ability – an innate sense of the game … she’s got quite a leg on her, too.  You may want to look into this private league,” the coach told her, handing her a card. “It’s a little more expensive than here, but I think they could really groom her … she could really be something one day, the next Mia Hamm.”

“She? Billy?” Buffy stammered again as she took the card from the man’s hand.  “Uhhh … yeah, ok, thanks. I’ll … I’ll talk to my husband about it,” Buffy hedged still trying to figure out how the girl got to be named Billie. Her eyes darted to the children who were now climbing into the minivan … sure enough, the girl was dressed in a soccer uniform, black shorts and a red shirt with the number ‘17’ on the back of it, JJ was also in a soccer uniform … the blonde boy had on a white T-shirt and blue shorts … what practice had he been at?

When the coach left, Buffy got back in the minivan and checked to make sure everyone was buckled in, the three younger children were in the back seat and Annie was in the front next to Buffy.  After she was sure everyone was secure, she put the vehicle back into gear and started out of the parking lot.

“Cut it out, JJ!” she heard coming from the backseat. Buffy looked in the rearview in time to see the blonde girl … Dani? Billie? … sock JJ in the arm with her fist.

“Ok … no hitting,” Buffy chastised as she turned into traffic and started back towards the other side of town.

“He hit me first!” the girl argued.

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Not!”

“Too!”

“OK! OK!” Buffy yelled, finding her ‘mom’ voice hadn’t completely abandoned her. “Let’s not worry about who hit who first … let’s just stop now.

“JJ … am I taking you home or to the Magic Box or what?” Buffy asked and all the kids gave her a funny look.

“What?” Buffy asked, looking at Annie. It was all Buffy could do to keep from stopping the car and pulling her into her arms again. Annie had grown into a beautiful young lady … she’d always been beautiful, but she had just gotten lovelier as she’d grown.

“JJ always comes home with us …” Annie informed her with a sigh and an eye roll.

“Oh … does he … I mean … where’re Anya and Xander?” Buffy asked as her chest tightened. Please don’t let them be dead! She hadn’t thought of that before … maybe the mansion was empty because all her friends were dead in this new world, too.

“At work, I guess…” Annie told her with a shrug and Buffy let out a sigh of relief.

“Ok … fine, good, to the house then,” Buffy confirmed … she could do that.

**~**

Back at the house Buffy didn’t have much time to think about 1890 or Hallie or what was real or if she was losing her mind … three five year-olds running loose and a ten year-old screaming that someone had been in her room and had messed up all her stuff more than occupied her time.  Buffy helped Annie put all her hair stuff back in her drawers and started a video for the other three, then went in the kitchen to start dinner.  Spike said he thought he’d be home for dinner … she’d better find something to make.

Buffy found a pack of hamburger already thawed in the sink, so she made a meatloaf and steamed some new potatoes and green beans to go with it.  Everything was just about finished when Spike got home.

“What’s the occasion?” Spike asked, walking up behind her in the kitchen and wrapping his arms around her as she stood at the sink washing some of the bowls and pans she’d used.

Buffy leaned back against him and closed her eyes … his arms around her felt so good, his body felt like heaven against hers … then the words from the Watcher’s diary invaded her thoughts … ‘killed his entire family … two young daughters and a newborn son’ and Buffy stiffened and pulled out of his embrace.

“Just dinner…” Buffy answered his question, as she busied herself pouring glasses of milk for the kids and getting the food on the kitchen table, not looking at him.  Neither Anya nor Xander had shown up for JJ, so she set a place for him, too …

“C’mon kids! Dinner!” Buffy yelled from the doorway of the kitchen.

“You didn’t have to cook, Slayer … I told ya I’d be home for dinner,” Spike pointed out as he watched her scurry from one task to another, never making eye contact with him.

“You getting tired of my cookin’, that it?” Spike asked as he grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down at the table.

“Your cooking?” Buffy questioned, finally stopping and looking at him.

Spike raised his brows at her. “I was gonna make Shepherd’s pie with that ground beef…” he told her, tilting his head towards the meatloaf.

“Oh … I … Shepherd’s pie?” Buffy questioned. “Shepherd’s pie is made with lamb…cottage pie is made with beef,” she corrected him.

Spike raised his brows at her again, his eyes widening in surprise. “Is it, now? And when did you come to this epiphany? You’re the one that argued with me for three bloody days about callin’ it ‘cottage pie’ …”

“Oh … well…” Buffy stammered but was cut off by three pint-sized Tasmanian devils arriving in the kitchen and taking their places at the table.  Buffy took that opportunity to go out into the great room and call up the stairs for Annie again as she tried to figure out when it was that Spike had taken over the cooking and why. Maybe he doesn’t like my cooking… she worried silently. She’d never been the best cook, but he’d never really complained about it … except jokingly.  Maybe he wasn’t joking… Maybe it was like having Faith watch his back instead of her … maybe …

Buffy’s thoughts were interrupted as Annie appeared at the top of the stairs and started down; her graceful movements reminded Buffy of Spike, and the dance classes she’d been taking for years were apparent, as well.  Buffy still couldn’t believe how much they had all grown and changed, and she’d missed it all.  Hallie had still managed to get her revenge; she’d stolen five years of memories from Buffy and the lives of the children she’d brought into the Weckerly’s Victorian home as her own.

Buffy wrapped an arm around Annie’s shoulder and walked into the kitchen with her where the others were waiting impatiently for them. Spike had put portions of the meatloaf and green beans and potatoes on each of the children’s plates and they dug into their meals as soon as Buffy and Annie sat down.

Buffy looked at her family … plus one, and bit her bottom lip as she tried to hold the tears back.  This was as quiet as they’d been since she’d picked them up. All the children were just as she imagined they’d be, just as she’d seen in dreams and met at the Weckerly home in the distant past, all with eyes as blue as the ocean and faces of angels. Buffy was still having a hard time figuring out the twin’s proper names, though.

“Billy,” Buffy started. “Could you pass the salt?” Buffy requested and the girl handed Buffy the salt. Everyone had started talking again … Spike asking the children about their various practices and each one relating what they’d done that day, when the next practice was or the next game or the next recital, who’d annoyed them, funny jokes they’d been told …

“What color is a burp?”   ….   “Burple!”

“Why was the apple so lonely?”  …. “‘Cos the banana split!”

“What's a polygon?"…. “A dead parrot!”

"Knock Knock." ...  "Who's there?" ... "A little old lady." ... "A little old lady who?"  ... "I didn't know you could yodel!"

 (well, they thought they were hilarious).

Buffy took a deep breath and jumped into the fray. “The soccer coach said that Billie is doing really well,” Buffy informed Spike. “He gave me a card for a different program that he thought we should look into … he said she could be the next … ummm … ham … something,” Buffy started, trying to remember the name he said.

“Mia Hamm,” Annie supplied.

“Right … Mia Hamm,” Buffy agreed, not having any idea who that was, but it must be someone good. “What do you think?”

“Coach said Billy could be the next Mia Hamm, eh?” Spike questioned, looking from Buffy to the two blondes and back again.

“Yeah… said she was really good, best he’d ever seen for her age,” Buffy agreed, trying to sound casual and confident … like she knew what she was talking about.

“Uh-huh … and what do you think? You think Billy could be the next girl to lead an American football team to gold?” Spike questioned and all the children stopped eating and looked at Buffy expectantly.

“I … ummm … I don’t know, that’s why I was asking you …” Buffy started when suddenly Spike slapped the glass of milk out of the blonde girl’s hand just as she was getting ready to take a drink. The glass was nearly to her lips and white liquid went flying across the table, covering the floor and the front of her shirt as the plastic glass bounced off the wall behind them.

“Spike! What are you doing?!” Buffy exclaimed, jumping up from her seat and moving over to the surprised child.

“That was milk in that bloody glass!” Spike yelled, jumping up himself. “What the bloody hell is going on with you, Slayer!? Where the fuck is your mind at?”

“What are you talking about!?” Buffy yelled back as she got a towel and started wiping up the milk.

“What am I talking about!?” Spike screamed as he went to the refrigerator and pulled out a container of almond milk and poured a new glass and set it down in front of the wide eyed girl.  “I’m talking about you not remembering our children’s bloody names! I’m talking about you not remembering that Dani’s allergic to fu… to bloody cow’s milk! I’m talking about you not remembering where practice is and what time it’s bloody over!

“The Niblett’s in charge,” Spike announced to the room (eliciting moans from the younger children) as he grabbed Buffy’s wrist and pulled his wife out of the kitchen, across the great room and into the training room, slamming the door behind them.

“Now, you better tell me who the hell you are and where my wife is, or you and me are gonna have a big problem – and I can assure you, your problem will be a bloody sight bigger than mine!” Spike threatened as he slung her by the arm up against one padded wall of the room.

Buffy hit the wall hard, but barely noticed … she was still trying to process everything he’d said.  Buffy sank down onto the floor and covered her face with her hands as tears fell from her eyes.  “I’m sorry … I … Spike, I am your wife, I swear, I just … I don’t remember.”

“Bollocks!” Spike exclaimed, lifting her up by the shoulders and shaking her violently. “Buffy would never forget our children’s names! I don’t give a buggering fuck how hard she’d been hit on the head! Last chance … tell me where the hell my wife is or you’ll wish you’d never been born … or conjured … or whatever-the-bloody-hell-ever!”

“Spike … it’s me, it’s Buffy. I swear!! I just …” Buffy tried to figure out how to tell him about Hallie and Cecily and the wish and the years she spent trying to get their family back.  “It’s all so confusing … Hallie, Hallie made a wish with a vengeance demon and I tried to reverse it to save you but I couldn’t and I went back in time and stepped on a butterfly and now I’ve lost five years… Spike, I swear, it’s me,” Buffy pleaded as tears fell freely from her eyes.  It sounded crazy even to her … it sounded more than crazy, it sounded completely insane.

Spike released her and took a step back, his hands going to his hips. “Who writes your stuff?” Spike quipped. “Larry, Moe, or Curly?”

“Spike, it’s true, just let me … let me prove it,” Buffy begged.

“And how do you propose to do that? Gonna try to kill more of the bits? Ya know, the goofy lookin’ one ain’t ours …” Spike taunted.

“Anne Joyce Summers-Weckerly, born on Valentine’s Day, 1999 …” Buffy began quickly. “Named after your mother and mine; created of us, by the Monks to conceal the Key from Glory. I died when she was two … we saved her from Glory. She loves chocolate and dancing and playing videogames with you and collecting her pennies for ‘bad words’.

“Danielle Dawn Weckerly,” Buffy continued, “Born February 12^th, 2004. Twin of Billy, she was born first. She’s named after Willow and Dawn, who is the Key and my sister in the other dimension. You loved Dawn like a sister, protected her when I was dead … Can you still remember that?”

“I remember fine …” Spike assured her, as he crossed his arms over his chest and studied her. She sounded like Buffy, looked like Buffy, smelled like Buffy …

“Joshua Jacheal Harris …” Buffy continued until Spike held his hands up, stopping her.

“None a’ that’s top secret. Don’t prove nuthin’,” Spike pointed out, waving his arms out then re-crossing them over his chest.

“Fine … ask me anything! Anything only I would know … just not from the last five years,” Buffy insisted. “Our wedding day … how you proposed … the promises we made when you gave me this ring …” Buffy suggested, holding the hand up that held the ‘promise’ ring Spike had given her after the ‘Angel thing’. “Anything.”

Buffy stood silent and waited as Spike pondered her request. She prayed that nothing she’d done in 1890 had affected the first six years of their life together …

“What color panties did ya’ have on when you came back with your overnight bag and moved into m’ house uninvited?” Spike asked, narrowing his eyes at her, his arms still folded over his chest.

Buffy rolled her eyes … of course Spike would ask her a trick question. “I didn’t have on any panties…” she replied, still praying that things from ‘before’ hadn’t changed.

Spike pursed his lips as he studied her. “What were the first words I ever said to you?” he asked.

Buffy closed her eyes and replayed that conversation in her mind. She opened her eyes and tilted her head to the side as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You said, ‘Nice work, luv,’” Buffy informed him.  “Then I said, ‘Who are you?’ and you said I’d find out on Saturday … and I said…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah … don’t have to beat a bloody dead horse,” Spike interrupted her.

“Spike … it’s me,” Buffy repeated, moving up to him. “I’m sorry about Dani … I didn’t know. When … she didn’t have any allergies as a baby,” Buffy pointed out.

“No…not until she was three. Came on all the sudden-like. Thought we were gonna lose ‘er again,” Spike admitted, his voice breaking slightly at the memory of rushing her to the hospital when her throat closed up suddenly and she went into anaphylactic shock after drinking a milkshake at McDonald’s.

"I didn’t forget their names … I just, I got confused when the soccer coach talked about Billy being a ‘her’ ...” Buffy explained, looking up at him. “Why … why did he call Dani ‘Billy’?”

Spike snorted a soft laugh and looked up at the ceiling, then back down to Buffy. “You signed Billy up for football and Dani up for tumblin’ at the community center,” Spike began to explain. “Well, turns out, our girl’s not much on tumbling … and Junior’s not much of a footballer. You had to leave to go pick up the Niblett – as soon as you were gone, the little buggers switched without tellin’ anyone.  We figured it out pretty quick, but the names on the rosters never got switched … Billy was officially playin’ football and Dani was officially tumblin’. If you’da talked to the gymnastics coach, she would’ve told you how wonderfully our son ‘Danny’ was doin’ …”

Buffy laughed and shook her head – as if she didn’t have enough confusion. “That part really made me think I had totally lost my mind …” Buffy admitted.

“Well, the jury’s still out on that …” Spike pointed out as he wiped her tears from her cheeks with the pad of his thumb.

“Spike … I … maybe I have lost my mind,” Buffy admitted. “But I’m your wife … I love you with all my heart, I love our babies with all my heart – you and the babies, you’re my whole world. I just … I’ve lost five years,” Buffy told him, laying a hand on his cheek and looking into his eyes.  “Do you believe me?”

Spike looked at her a long while before closing his eyes and nodding. “From a wish?” he asked, opening his eyes and looking at her. “Who’s Hallie? What kinda wish?”

Buffy sighed heavily. “It’s a really long story … five years worth of long… can we … can we just finish dinner first, put the babies to bed? Then I promise I’ll tell you everything,” Buffy requested.

Spike shrugged his agreement. “You’re sure you’re ok, though?”

“Yeah … physically, I’m fine … can I just ask you one more thing?”

Spike shrugged. “Anythin’.”

“The night you … the night you met Dru, in 1890 … what happened before that … before Dru?” Buffy inquired, her voice hesitant.

“What difference does that make now?” Spike countered.

“It just does … tell me what happened that night,” Buffy asked again.

Spike sighed. “I told ya’ before ‘bout that night – I don’t really remember much. Out for a walk … met Dru … not much else to tell.”

“That’s it? That’s all you remember?” Buffy questioned. “What was the date?”

“I’m supposed to remember the date after a bloody century plus?” Spike argued, shaking his head.

“Ok … was it the night you and your … wife went out to dinner with the Retchfords … in December?” Buffy asked, nearly choking on the word ‘wife’.

Spike looked at her curiously, biting his bottom lip slightly with his teeth and furrowing his brow. “How do you know ‘bout the Retchfords?”

“Never mind that. Was that the night?” Buffy pressed.

“Mighta been … one night was pretty much the same as the next back then…went out with the Retchfords pretty regular.”

Buffy sighed. “So … nothing unusual happened to you that night? I mean, before you met Dru?”

“Not that I recall,” Spike contended. “Why’re you asking about this now?”

“I just … I thought maybe … maybe you met someone … and … never mind,” Buffy said dejectedly.  That pretty much blew her theory that she’d driven William into Dru’s clutches … that what she’d done had, in fact, been the thing that had re-written history – again, and at least partially undone Hallie’s wish.  The fact that he didn’t remember Avengelyne made Buffy worry that perhaps this was all some kind of hallucination or a dream after all, and she’d wake up from it at any moment.

“The books say … they say you had three children back then,” Buffy fished further.

“Reckon so…” Spike hedged, not sure where she was going.

“They say … they say you … killed them,” Buffy continued.

“Reckon so…” Spike agreed, his hands going to his hips as he stood in front of her. “Evil, remember? That’s what vampires do, Buffy. You know that.”

“Yeah … evil vampires,” Buffy muttered as she swallowed back a lump in her throat and looked down at the floor.

“So … if you killed them, what happened to your money?” Buffy questioned as she summoned the courage to look him in the eye again.  She just wasn’t ready to let it go … she still had a hard time believing Spike would’ve killed the children, evil or not.

“Vampires don’ need money,” Spike pointed out with a shrug.  “Just walked away, I did; didn’t matter none to me. Regret it now, ‘course – might not be working fer Willy the wanker if I’d’ve signed a couple of papers back then like Angelus wanted…let the bank fix it like they did for Dru.

“Ya know, we’ve been over this before,” Spike told her. “It’s sumthin’ I live with everyday, Buffy – what happened to m’ other family, it eats at my soul, not sure there’s a point in re-hashin’ it.”

“Yeah, I know … I just … I just wanted to make sure I remembered right. I’m sorry,” Buffy offered, resigned to let it drop.

“Spike … I don’t know if I’ll ever get the years back that I’ve lost,” Buffy told him solemnly as tears stung her eyes.  “I … I’m gonna need help for a while until I figure stuff out.”

Spike closed the short distance between them and pulled her to him as her tears fell again.  “It’s ok, Buffy, we’ll figure it out, pet.”

“Thank you for believing me.  I wouldn’t be able to stand it if you turned your back on me,” Buffy sobbed against his chest as she took solace in his embrace.

“I’d never turn my back on you, luv. That’s one thing you can always depend on, don’t you know that? I promised to never let you walk alone … you know I always keep my promises,” Spike told her softly as he held her close.

Buffy nodded against his chest as she wrapped her arms around his waist and the tears she’d been fighting fell freely from her eyes. She might’ve actually made it home, assuming this wasn’t some new cruel hoax or dream; the possibility that this wasn’t real still worried her. Her family was here, her husband, her soul-mate, was here … her friends were here.  At anytime during the last five years she would’ve given anything and everything she owned to get back here, but the victory, assuming it was real, was bittersweet. She’d lost those five years … years of memories she could never get back, years of her children’s lives that she’d never know … and she’d let Spike down. Her mom admonished her to save all their children; told her that Spike was depending on her … she had failed. She’d saved only these three … the other three, William’s children from his human life, were lost. She wouldn’t let herself fully believe the Watcher’s diary, she wanted to hear Spike say it, and he had …

“Spike … I missed you so much. I missed our babies and now look at them … they aren’t babies anymore! They’re all grown up! They’re beautiful! Like angels!” Buffy cried against him.

“Well … I wouldn’t go that far. Give it a week, you’ll be wishin’ fer some vengeance yourself, luv,” Spike kidded as he dropped a kiss on the top of her head and Buffy laughed lightly through her tears.

Buffy and Spike had just started to walk back towards the door of the training room when it flew open. “Mooom! JJ’s pulling my hair again and Dani’s blowing bubbles in her milk and Billy won’t eat his green beans and they won’t listen to me even though Dad said I was in charge!” Annie complained.

“See what I mean?” Spike asked her with a smirk and Buffy laughed lightly. That was fine, it was perfect … it was a family - it was home.

**~**