Alternate Universe: |
Unexpected |
Story Title: |
Hokey-Pokey |
Chapter Title: |
Bless the Broken Road
|
Time line: |
December, 2004
**
History:
Joshua "JJ" Harris was born on
April 21st, 2004
The twins (Danielle, "Dani" and
William, "Billy") were born on February 12th, 2004
Annie turned five on February 14th (she was born in 1999)
Spike and Buffy have been married five years in February. (seems longer,
doesn't it?)
Buffy turned 23 on January 19th.
All the Potentials were
endowed with full Slayer power in February 2003.
Buffy and Spike learned of the
other dimensions in May, 2003. |
Summary: |
The Sunnydale gang goes on a dangerous mission. Then Angel and Cordy’s
wedding takes center stage.
|
Notes: |
Heartfelt thanks to my "ET" and wonderful Beta,
PaganBaby, for
her wonderful suggestions, much needed corrections and always
appreciated encouragement!!
**
Music Referenced:
Bless the Broken Road - Rascal
Flatts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZp6pmgbZyU
**~**
Harp Music
Compilation:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-NWj_7R7FI
**~**
ScreenCaps courtesy of ScreenCap Paradise:
http://www.screencap-paradise.com/?cat=3
|
Rating / Warnings: |
NC17. Content is only suitable for mature adults.
Contains explicit language, sex, adult themes and other adult situations that
some people may find objectionable. If you are under the age of 17 or
find any of these themes objectionable – GO AWAY. Parents, it is up to
YOU to control what your children are reading. |
Wednesday, December 15th, 2004:
“Ok,” Buffy started, kneeling in the center of the group and drawing out her
strategy in the sand at their feet. “As soon as the portals open and we get in,
Willow and Tara will go to the left … get as far away from ground zero as
possible and create a diversion.
“Spike, you go to the left with them, but then turn and make your way down one
of the side passages; I’ll go right and do the same. We need to do this without
magic … and no fists or fangs – be we need to get it done, this will be our one
and only chance … get in, grab the bounty, and get out fast,” Buffy concluded,
standing up. “Everyone know what to do once we get in?”
“Yer talking like we’re going to another bloody dimension, Slayer … it’s just a
Toys “R” Us for Christ sakes …” Spike pointed out.
“You’ve never been to a Toys “R” Us in December on the day of the last shipment
of Elmo dolls – it is another dimension!” Buffy contended as she checked
her watch. 4:45am … the doors were supposed to open at 5:00am … “Ok, positions
everyone…”
Spike rolled his eyes, they had been trying to get this Elmo doll for Annie for
three weeks, since the Saturday after Thanksgiving … but every store was sold
out as soon as the toys came in. The stores had announced that this would be
the last shipment of them before Christmas and Annie had her heart set on one.
Spike had suggested they just break in before the store opened and get one –
they could leave the money for it even, but Buffy vetoed that. “We’d be cute
spending Christmas in jail for breaking and entering! That would be a nice
memory for our daughter!”
Then Spike suggested that Willow could just freeze all the other customers … but
Willow refused saying that wouldn’t be for the ‘greater good’ and could have
serious repercussions later.
So, they were stuck doing it the hard way – with a game plan worthy of the
invasion of Normandy – except they were battling other mothers and fathers,
aunts and uncles … and their goal was a red, cartoon creature that laughed and
talked. Their mission was slightly less notable in the annals of history … but
apparently nearly as dangerous. More than one person had been taken to the
hospital from injuries sustained in “toy stampedes”.
“Ok, we can do this! We just need one …. just one! You guys know what to do!
Let’s get in there and get that irritating, fluffy, red laughing monster!” Buffy
encouraged them as they moved forward towards the doors which would be opened
shortly.
“We few, we happy few, we band of buggered…” Spike muttered as he took his place
in the crowd waiting to get in the door. Spike kept edging forward through the
throng, turning sideways and sliding between the other mothers and fathers who
were pressed as one against the locked doors of the toy store. When one woman
tried to block him from moving past her, he reached around to the side opposite
him and pinched her ass – when she jumped and looked accusingly at the man on
the other side, Spike slipped ahead with a smirk.
Buffy was making her way up through the crowd, too, but hadn’t made it as far up
as Spike when the doors suddenly swung open and the whole swarm of people pushed
into the store like locusts in a cornfield. Everyone took off running down
different aisles, heading towards the center of the store where the toys were
supposed to be.
Spike passed the other parents, dodging and hurtling toy displays as he easily
outran the other combatants. When he got to the display in the center of the
store where all the Elmo dolls were waiting, he grabbed two of them easily.
“Child’s play … like another dimension my soddin’ ass…” he smirked as he turned
around to start back to the cash registers.
He no sooner got turned around that he was ambushed by the mob that he’d outrun
a moment ago. The stampede of desperate parents knocked him down and suddenly
one of the Elmos was gone out of his hand and the other was being pulled away.
He grabbed onto it with both hands as he wrestled on the floor with three women
who were trying to take it away from him.
“Oi! Get yer own … this one’s mine, you barmy birds!” Spike yelled at them, but
they paid him no heed as they all fought to get the toy away from him. Within
moments, the box was torn to pieces and Spike was wrestling just to keep the
doll itself.
Then he heard someone yell, “There’s more! More Elmos over here!” He recognized
the voice immediately as being Tara’s … that was apparently the distraction
Buffy had talked about. Two of the three women he was wrestling with jumped up
and ran towards Tara’s voice … along with about half the people that were still
fighting to get one of the dolls and get out of the melee with their coveted
prize.
Spike growled dangerously at the last woman as he tugged harder on the fluffy,
red doll – but she growled back just as dangerously as she tugged against him.
Who knew a mother in search of a Christmas gift could get such superhuman
strength? He’d heard of mothers lifting cars off their children – powered by
fear and adrenaline … who know that a battle for Christmas toys could have the
same effect?
Finally, Spike got back to his feet and yanked on the toy with all his strength,
but when he did that, the toy ripped in half – sending white, fluffy viscera
into the air all around him and his opponent. “Bloody hell…” Spike muttered as
he turned around with his half of Elmo to see if he could get another one – but
they were all gone. Not one box, not one toy remained. “Bugger …”
Spike looked around for Buffy, but didn’t see her, so he started back towards
the door with the other defeated parents, trying to think of reasons that Santa
couldn’t get his daughter the one thing she had told him she, “really, really
wanted most of all” when Buffy had taken her to the mall for the obligatory “sit
on Santa’s knee” trip.
Spike was soon joined by Tara and Willow as he walked back towards the car. “Did
you get one?” Willow asked expectantly – surely Spike would’ve gotten one with
his vampire speed and strength. Spike held up the half of Elmo that he had won
and rolled his eyes. Willow and Tara both frowned at the decapitated doll.
“What happened?” Tara asked, taking the ripped doll from Spike’s hand.
“Bloody women attacked me … sixpence short of a shilling, they are!”
“You let some mothers beat you? How many?” Willow asked with a barely contained
smile.
“Dozens of the barmy bitches …” Spike defended. “Buffy said no fists or fangs… I
was at a disadvantage,” he continued as they reached the DeSoto.
Buffy was leaning against it waiting for them with a shopping bag in her hand.
“What took you so long?” she asked with a smirk as she saw the decapitated Elmo
in Tara’s hand.
“Spike let a girl beat him…” Willow explained.
“Pffffttt! Not a girl! Dozens of Mum-monsters! Attacked me, they did … I didn’t
wanna hurt them …” he began. “Hey! You got one!” he exclaimed gleefully, finally
seeing the bag in Buffy’s hand.
“I did … I told you before we went in to get in and get out fast … but you
couldn’t listen. You just had to stand there and gloat!” Buffy laughed as she
climbed into the passenger seat.
“Wasn’t gloatin’ … just, well, it seemed unfair for me to use my speed to get an
advantage over the gits … so I was giving them a fair chance…” Spike defended.
“Oh, of course … I should’ve known. You’re known for your lack of gloatiness and
not using every trick in the book to get an advantage…” Buffy laughed as Spike
slid into the driver’s seat and Willow and Tara climbed in the back.
Spike snorted softly and rolled his eyes. He’d be more prepared next time … it
really was another dimension through the Toys “R” Us portal.
**~**
Saturday, December 18th, 2004:
Buffy, Spike, Willow, and Tara, along with Annie and the twins entered the lobby
of the Hyperion from the underground parking garage around 1:30 in the
afternoon. Angel and Cordelia’s wedding was set to begin at 2:00.
Xander begged out, saying he had to stay home with JJ since Anya and Giles
didn’t want to miss another day of sales at the Magic Box before Christmas. Even
Spike threatening to tell Anya his stamina wasn’t from the ‘wings and beer’ diet
wouldn’t persuade Xander to come with them, which disappointed Spike. Above all
else, a loathing of Angel was something he and Xander had always had in
common and Spike was looking forward to some help double-teaming the poofter. If
he couldn’t dust the wanker, he could at least annoy the hell out of him…
Faith and Wesley had also abstained from the festivities for obvious reasons …
although Wesley asked Buffy to ‘say hi’ to Fred for him.
The parking garage was nearly full when they arrived and the lobby of the hotel
reflected it – there had to be a hundred or more people packed into the lobby
and another fifty or more of A.I.’s demon friends and associates were up on the
balcony on the second floor. If Angel had wanted a big party for Cordy, he had
succeeded.
Buffy and Willow took the twins, along with Annie, over to the table piled high
with gifts and added theirs to the stack while Spike and Tara went in search of
alcohol. Spike figured he needed to drink at least $300 worth to break even
today, counting the gifts and the gas to drive up to L.A. and back to Sunnydale.
He might need to nick a couple of bottles of Johnny Walker Blue Label just to be
sure…